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19 Tweets That Totally Sum Up Parenting In 2016

"Before I had kids, I didn't even know it was possible to destroy an entire house with a granola bar."

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1. This petty child:

Kid next door has been going though a phase of pushing toys out the letterbox. This morning, he stepped that shit up

2. This sad truth:

Before I had kids, I didn't even know it was possible to destroy an entire house with a granola bar.

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3. This future important business lady:

My daughter brings a checklist to stores now and just makes random checks. It makes everyone uncomfortable.

4. This all too common predicament:

wife:Can you get 3 dressed? [10 minutes later] 3*runs out of the room without any pants on and his head stuck in his shirt* me [bleeding] No

5. This life lesson:

When your child and your dog disappear upstairs for an hour, you should totally be suspicious.

6. This moment of innocence:

when ur sister uses deodorant for the first time n gets the ruler out cos "it's to be 15cm away"

7. This significant achievement:

My 3 y/o daughter made her first pun today and I almost cried. She was eating an apple I asked her if she liked apples she said apple-lutely

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8. This important job:

Wow. How is my son going to pull off this most coveted of theatrical roles

9. This dark truth:

When you ask a 1st grade class to write letters to people in a nursing home...

10. This prediction for the future:

Fully expecting a few carefully worded questions at the next parents' night.

11. This list of grievances:

Kids' complaints on vacation: - No wifi on beach - Sand is sandy - Ocean has salt in it - Lobsters? I want pizza. - Too outdoorsy outside

12. This terrifying prank:

One time my sister scared the shit out of my parents by walking down the stairs like this

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13. This incredibly patient cat:

My niece tied her cat to the chair with a scarf and made him watch tv with her omfg

14. This future star writer:

15. This miracle:

this is my 1st time babysitting & idk where i went wrong but my niece is currently asleep on her head do i call th… https://t.co/3mvNwdtOk7

16. This sincere warning:

Our laundry room flooded because an apple chunk clogged the washer hose. Go ahead, have kids. They have pocket apples.

17. This total child genius:

Kids on TV spelling words I've never heard before. Mine got stuck in his onesie #ChildGenius

18. This sinister warning:

The 6 year-old son of a colleague has just drawn this. He has offered no explanation for it.

19. This beautiful family photo:

Me: We've taken 1,000 pics. We're never going to get all 4 kids smiling at once. Wife: Fine. Just pick the best one

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