1. Trying to hold your cat's hand.
They only let you do it when you're asleep.
2. Running round the house shouting "LOOOooooooOOOK at himmm" whenever your cat is doing something cute.
Everyone should know when your cat is asleep in the sink, because it's adorable.
3. Avoiding going to the toilet because the cat is sitting on you.
They must not be disturbed.
4. Feeding your cat some human food just because they look so cute eating it.
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5. Talking to your cat and almost forgetting that they can't actually understand what you're saying.
And when they meow in the right place, you ~know~ that they're listening really.
6. And using a funny voice specially reserved for them.
Talking to humans: "Hello."
Talking to your cat: "Hellloooooooooooo000ooooo you little poof of joy."
7. Taking a picture of your cat whenever it does something slightly out of the ordinary.
Or just looks particularly cute, or there's good lighting, or you're just bored.
8. Mainly calling your cat by a name that is not actually their proper name.
Your cat's name: Charles
What you call your cat: Charlie Poo Poo, Mr Floof, Friendly Cloud
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9. Feeling slightly offended if they choose to sit on someone else's lap and not yours.
10. Holding your cat up to the mirror so they can see how pretty they are.
11. Using your cat as a pillow, but actually not really doing it because you don't want to crush their lil' bellies.
12. Saying "hello" and "goodbye" when your cat is randomly sprinting around your house.
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13. Wanting your cat to share your bed even though you know they keep you up half the night.
14. Letting your cat into the bathroom with you because otherwise they'll just scratch at the door.
15. Trying to reason with your cat about whether it wants to be in or out.
"This is the last time I open this door, Floofkins, this is your final decision." Five minutes later you know you'll let them back out again.
16. Convincing yourself a bite is a sign they love you.
They're not doing it as hard as they possibly could, so that's an act of kindness.
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17. Watching most of your TV like this, and just putting up with it.
Who needs to see the whole screen?
18. Stroking all your cat's fur the wrong way and then laughing at how silly they look.
Stupid kitty.
19. Saying "bless you" when they sneeze.
20. Trying to cuddle them when it's pretty obvious they're not into it.
"Shhhhh, little baby. OW, ow... OK, you free."
21. Choosing staying in with them over going out and actually socialising.
Because they're your best friend anyway.
