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17 Jay Z Songs Reimagined For Children

If Jay Z ever wants to retire the "King of Rap" crown, he could have a successful career as a children's musician.

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1. Dirt Off Your Shoulder ... Because You Take Care of Your Hygiene

youtube.com / Via carliihde.tumblr.com

Telling kids it's important to take care of themselves and their personal hygiene, this song would hopefully inspire more "Fashion Kids" Instagram accounts.

Parody of: "Dirt Off Your Shoulder" (2003)

2. Can I Get A ... Helping Hand with Chores

youtube.com / middlechildswag.tumblr.com / Via hellobeautiful.com

Beyoncé and Jay Z could use this song in case they ever want to feel like "common folk" by giving their housemaids a break for the day. But this song will mostly be played by moms and dads who want some free time to catch up on Game of Thrones.

Parody of: "Can I Get A..." feat. Amil and Ja Rule (1998)

3. Clap for a Toddler Who Just Wiped Their Ass

youtube.com / northgang.tumblr.com / Via madamenoire.com

This song would be used mainly for potty-training, or if Blue Ivy ever wants to give one of her servants a break for the day when she's older.

Parody of: "Tom Ford" (2013)

4. 99 Problems ... and I Did Them All Before Watching TV

youtube.com / gotmelookingsocrazyrightnow.tumblr.com / Via giphy.com

If you still have math problems, I feel bad for you son. I had 99 problems and I'm all done. Goodnight.

Parody of: "99 Problems" (2003)

5. Brooklyn We Go Hard ... Playing Outside

youtube.com / Via giphy.com

Jay Z knows kids should be getting at least 60 minutes of physical activity a day in order to maintain healthy and fit lives.

Parody of: "Brooklyn We Go Hard" (2008)

6. Big Pimpin' Saving G's

youtube.com / Via 7oh3rd.tumblr.com

Instead of spending G's, this song will teach kids the importance of a dollar and saving their allowance money.

Parody of: "Big Pimpin'" (2001)

7. The Blueprint? What About the Rough Draft?

youtube.com / gotmelookingsocrazyrightnow.tumblr.com / Via giphy.com

This song would remind kids that they should proofread their essays to correct any mistakes before turning it in for a grade.

Parody of: Jay Z's Blueprint albums

8. Put Your Diamonds Up to Remind You of the Food Pyramid

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This song is a sequel to, "How Many Times Can You Go to Mr. Chows? Eat Your Vegetables," parodied from "Success" (2007).

Parody of: "Diamond is Forever" (2002)

9. Roc Boys (And the Winner is ... Not You and That's Okay)

youtube.com / middlechildswag.tumblr.com / Via giphy.com

Originally a song made for artists nominated against Jay Z at the Grammy's, this song also works equally for kids who are sore losers.

Parody of: "Roc Boys" (And the Winner is) (2007)

10. Bedtime State of Mind (It's 8 O'Clock)

youtube.com / Via complex.com

Your bed is where dreams are made, now go to sleep you have school in the morning.

Parody of: "Empire State of Mind" (2009)

11. Excuse Me Miss ... And Other Polite Phrases to Say

CBS / Via junibie.tumblr.com

To get manors in multiple countries like Jay Z, you must have manners.

Parody of: "Excuse Me Miss" (2003)

12. Public Service Announcement (Wear Your Seatbelt)

youtube.com / Via watchloud.com

Safety first, or you're not going to get to ride this car with no doors.

Parody of: "Public Service Announcement" (2003)

13. Run This Town ... Not Your Mouth

youtube.com / Via 7oh3rd.tumblr.com

A great song to teach kids not to talk back to their parents.

Parody of: "Run This Town" (2009)

14. Where I'm From ... We Don't Talk to Strangers

youtube.com / Via ftw.usatoday.com

Reminding kids that strangers are bad, unless they have candy -- er, no wait.

Parody of: "Where I'm From" (1997)

15. Drunk in Love ... Not Driving

youtube.com / Via giphy.com

Jay Z changes his verse in Beyoncé's "Drunk in Love" to have a deeper message.

Parody of: Jay Z's verse in "Drunk in Love" (2013)

16. I Don't Pop Molly, I Rock Tom Ford (Rise Above the Influence of Drugs)

youtube.com / vlone.tumblr.com / Via hiphopwired.com

It's more important to dress fresh-to-death than be freshly dead. Jay Z said that, not me.

Parody of: "Tom Ford" (2013)

17. H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A ... and Other Fun Ways to Learn Your Letters

youtube.com / gotmelookingsocrazyrightnow.tumblr.com / Via giphy.com

Look for Jay Z's spin-off of "Hooked on Phonics" called, "Hooked on HOV," in stores soon.

Parody of: "Izzo" (H.O.V.A) (2001)

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