Pointers on what people with chronic illnesses would like to hear.

I asked those who battle a chronic illness, 'what would you like to hear someone say to you in regards to your illness?'. Friends, family, strangers, please take note.

In 2014, I was diagnosed with CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome), I was 17. Adjusting to a new life where your daily activities are restricted because your illness takes over with its various symptoms and depression is hard. I was nearly an adult, I was close to finishing school, I should have been excited for all the new opportunities ahead. Instead I was living in hell and I honestly thought my illness was going to defeat me. However, after finding support, seeking professional help, making friends who also had chronic illnesses, slowly opening up to my family and friends, my outlook started to change. I had overcome so much and I wanted people to know about my struggle. I also wanted people to hear I am only just one of thousands, if not more, struggling with their chronic illness. So last year I began creating awareness in my local community in different ways; setting up a Facebook page, being more vocal on Instagram, speeches, setting up a blog, creating a mini film, talking to the newspaper. At times it is difficult to tell my story between studying full time and looking after myself, however it is worth it because I know people's attitudes are changing.

I try to incorporate other people's struggles when I create awareness. However, one area that I have not covered much of is what to say to those suffering from a chronic illness. Sometimes I enter such a bad state physically and mentally, those around me struggle finding the right words to say

For me I think I would love to hear;

"I don't understand everything, but know I am here for you"

"Is there anything you need?"

"Do you want some company?"

"How are you really feeling?"

"You are stronger than this illness. It may not feel like it now, but you've pulled through before and I know you'll do it again"

I also took this question to Facebook and Instagram and asked what other people would like to hear;

Mia suffers from CFS and would like to hear,

"I can see how hard you try every day and it is great you have not given up"

Alex suffers from CFS, Fibromyalgia, CRPS (complex regional pain syndrome), undiagnosed autoimmune disease, thyroid disease, JRA (Juvenile rheumatoid arthritis), chronic kidney disease and is also a cancer survivor. She would like to hear,

"Is there any way I can help? Or "Do you need to vent/talk about anything"

Naziha suffers from Multiple exostoses, Hashimoto's, Asthma, scoliosis, anxiety, borderline depression and too is a cancer survivor – she would like to hear,

"Hey keep your head up", "I believe in you", "I will pray that they find a cure for your disease"

Lisa suffers from Multiple sclerosis and would like to hear,

"I know I see you around looking vibrant and smiling, but I do understand that you have a disabling Chronic illness and you're not loopy, you're fighting with every sentence with your words, cognitive damage and short term memory loss so that you are not embarrassed"

Mike suffers from CFS and would like people to not insinuate what he should and should not do in regards to his health. There are things he simply cannot do because of his health and finds it frustrating when people say

"if I were you I would do this, this and this"

Christine suffers from sarcoidosis, endometriosis, adenomyosis, severe asthma, RA (rheumatoid arthritis) and Graves disease and used to suffer from chronic migraines. She would love it if others stopped insinuating that our health issues are brought on by stress. She would love if someone held her hand and simply said,

"I'm here for you", "I feel your pain", "What do you need?".

She would also love it if people understood that when she needs to cancel plans or simply feels unable to talk. Sometimes it takes days or weeks to 'recover' from our 'good' days. Healthy people do not understand that and often become impatient or take it personally which only adds to how bad we are already feeling.

Leanne suffers from intractable chronic migraine and would like hear,

"How can I help you?" or "Could you explain your condition to me?"

Lauren suffers from CFS and would like to hear,

"Don't worry if you can't, we can reschedule when you're having a better day"

"What can I do? Cook? Drive you somewhere? Run you a bath?"

"Take a nap, I'll do that for you"

"I respect that you know your illness and body better than I ever can, so do what you need to do"

"It's not your fault"

"What do you feel up to today?"

"I don't think you're lazy"

Courtney is a leukemia survivor and is now battling rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, degenerative disc disease, chronic herniated discs, generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder and Irritable bowel syndrome. She would like to hear,

"I believe you", "You're doing a great job keeping on", "That sucks", "Thank-you for surviving" and "You're loved and admired"

What really upset me with Courtney's message was she told me she never had to prove she was sick when she had leukemia but now she is constantly trying to prove how sick she is.

So if you know someone who suffers from a chronic illness and you want to help when they are having a bad day, take note of these sentences. It could honestly help them so much.