This week, a Reddit thread by user nl1004 asked people to share the rudest thing a guest has ever done in their home. And a plethora of people began chiming in with pretty WILD stories.
Here are some of the most, impolite and truly nightmarish horror stories people had to offer:
1. The mother-in-law intruder:
"My mother-in-law used to stop by our apartment without telling us. If she didn't see us in the living room, she'd check our bedroom to see if we were there. One time she let herself in while we were in the middle of having sex. My husband didn't hear her. I did."
— niako
2. The naked friend:
"My old roommate needed a place to crash because he'd gotten kicked out of his new apartment that I'd helped him get. My wife and I are both very good friends with him. I had already left for work and he was asleep on the couch downstairs. My wife comes down about an hour later and startles him. He was asleep NAKED on our couch. He got up, realized he was naked, and then grabbed the blanket to cover up. My wife and I both explained that you can't sleep naked on your friend's couch, but he tried to tell us that we were being ridiculous. The reason? Because the sheet was a good enough barrier to keep his naked body from touching the couch."
3. The menstrual nightmare:
"I had some relatives over and despite very, very clear instructions to not flush feminine products down the toilet, they did anyways. They destroyed our septic field, which caused almost $10,000 in damages overall. When confronted, they just denied it, despite the fact many pads were pulled out of the system."
4. The departing gift:
"Once, a friend was sleeping on my boyfriend's couch after a night of drinking. We woke up the next morning and the only bathroom was locked from the inside. There was no answer when we knocked. After quite some time, we were able to jimmy something that could unlock the door, only to find the bathroom empty and no friend. He had filled up the little bathroom trashcan with diarrhea and fled in the night."
5. The awful in-laws:
"My in-laws hated me. We invited them over for Thanksgiving dinner and, upon arrival, they asked me to leave and come back a few hours later because they wanted to 'follow their tradition of preparing the meal alone as a family.' They are now my ex-in-laws."
6. The shower fail:
"I let a neighbor lady come over with her two young daughters to use our shower because her slack-ass husband hadn’t paid the water bill. I went upstairs to the bathroom after they left and found the bathtub clogged with pubic hair. It was all over the sides of the tub, the bottom of the shower curtain...everywhere."
7. The impolite pooper:
"One of my friend's little brother took a shit in my room. We only have one bathroom in our house and it was occupied. He needed to go pretty bad, I guess."
8. The partier that went too far:
"We had our wedding in my in-law's home to save money. Needless to say, there was a lot of drinking going on during the after party, and one of my wife's bridesmaids got TRASHED. Long story short, we found her bridesmaid's dress covered in puke. It was also in our shower and on the main stairway, which was wooden, thankfully. She also left a HUGE shit in the middle of the staircase."
— Babakins
9. The pickiest eater:
"I’d invited my family and my sister’s boyfriend over to my place for dinner. Normally, I'd make a pasta or a stew or something simple that I can throw in a pot, but I was in a particularly good mood that day and decided to make pizza for everyone. I spent a couple hours making the dough from scratch. The three pizzas each had various different toppings to please everyone, and I rotated them in my tiny-ass oven to cook them all evenly. Not to toot my own horn, but they turned out pretty awesome. But my sister’s boyfriend didn’t even taste any of them. Instead, he decided he was going to order out. It kinda irritated me, but I let it slide. Maybe he’s just not in the mood. Whatever. 30 minutes later, his food arrives. He'd ordered himself a fucking pizza with the same goddamn toppings I used on my own goddamn homemade fucking pizza."
10. The horny couple:
"My boyfriend and I had gotten a free hotel room offer at the local casino. We thought it would be fun to have a little staycation, so we invited his roommate and her boyfriend to come gamble and drink with us. She ended up getting wasted and asked to stay in our single bedroom with us. My boyfriend is super nice, so he didn’t say no, even though they were very much imposing. They went up to the room early and when we got there, her boyfriend was sleeping on the floor and she was in our bed. It was a big bed, so we just let her stay there and slept on the other side of the bed. I woke up to him in our bed beside her and before I knew it, I heard moaning. The girl's back was literally touching mine and they were having sex. I woke my boyfriend up and told him we needed to go get something from the car, told him what happened, and when we went back to the room, he told them they needed to leave."
11. The out of control urinator:
"I had some coworkers over after work. One guy used my bathroom, and I went in immediately after he was finished. There was piss all over my toilet, floor, and wall. I confronted him, but he had acted like he had no idea what I was talking about. I made him clean it up, which he did a half-ass job of. Never hung out with him again."
12. The guest who was literally feeling himself:
"A friend of mine was over in middle school and found out we had WiFi. He immediately asked for the password and went straight into he bathroom with his iPod touch. He proceeded to masturbate with my sister's Nair."
13. The guests who had no courtesy:
"Some of my wife’s family came to visit. First, they called and asked if we could have something for them to eat because it would be late when they arrived and had no time to stop. I decided I would make lasagna since I’m kind of known for that in the family. So I spent $60 and several hours making two big pans of lasagna, since it would have to feed several people. They showed up with Chick-fil-A bags and said they had already eaten. When they woke up the next morning, they asked if I normally cook breakfast. I said no, not on weekdays because I have to go to work. They gave dejected looks so I was like, fine, I offered to make either eggs and bacon or waffles. They said eggs, so I made a shit ton of eggs and bacon and left it for them because I had to go to work. When I got home, they hadn’t even touched the food I made. The kitchen was an absolute disaster because they decided they wanted waffles and helped themselves, dirtying every damn dish in the house and ruining my waffle iron because they left it on until it auto shut off—but by then—it had burned the batter and the whole house reeked of burnt waffles for days. They also clearly scratched my wife’s car as they left because it was in the driveway. It coincidentally had huge scratch where maroon paint had rubbed off—and guess what color their van was?—I asked them about it and they said they had no idea how it got there."
14. The tale of mad Max:
"My family has had this large wood dinner table that’s been passed through the family for years. It's a truly beautiful work of art. When I was about eight years old, I had a friend from school named Max over. We were working on homework at the table. Max was using a protractor to draw perfect circles when he realized he could use the sharp end to carve his name into our nice table. Now when we have guests over a common topic of discussion for dinner is 'who’s Max?'"
15. This awful party crasher:
"I had a birthday party and invited my friends to a nice barbecue where we could sit together, talk, and have fun. Then, a friend of a 'friend' showed up, uninvited, and completely drunk. He didn't say hello or mention my birthday. Instead, he took two of the steaks I'd just made for my guests, ate them, and then proceeded to pour two bottles of beer into my mother's fish tank. I was furious and told him he had to leave immediately. He didn't want to until one of my friends (bless him) made him leave by force. The fish luckily all survived."
16. The sleepover monster:
"In junior high, I invited a friend over for a sleepover. At one point I look over, and he is wiping the fattest booger I've ever seen on my night stand by my books."
17. The college frenemy:
"I had a friend from college stay the night after he had a job interview in the area. We drank talked about old times. We had a small apartment, so he slept on our couch. I woke up at about three in the morning and discovered that my wife wasn't in bed. I thought she got up to get a drink or use the bathroom, but no lights were on. I got up and to saw them slowly grinding and trying to be quiet, but they were making out like crazy. They were barely undressed, but just enough to fuck. I almost thought they saw me when they stopped kissing, but he just told her he was going to come. So, yeah, the rudest thing a guest did in my home was my wife."
18. The not-so-monogamous guest:
"I was seeing a girl, maybe not officially dating, but we were sleeping together and going out together a lot. I went out of town for a month for work, but left her a key to my condo. I came back and found out she and a mutual friend had sex in my bed."
19. The fishy tale:
"When I was younger, I had a huge house party for Halloween. I think I'd just graduated high school, and it was going to be one of the last times my friends and I were together. We hung up a tarp and spent $2,000 between the five of us on booze and supplies. My house has a separate guest house/garage that I left open for people to smoke in during the party. In the garage, there is a refrigerator that houses everything we catch while fishing. Someone decided it would be hilarious to take fresh shrimp out and hide it in an air duct. Over the next two weeks, the air conditioning would blow out the most putrid smell. We spent most of the winter using space heaters since we refused to turn it on. Finally, two months later, my mom gets a hold of a repairman. He spent 15 mins gagging in the garage, only to pull out the most disgusting bag of melted mush I’d ever seen."
You can read the full Reddit thread here, if you dare!
Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.