{"ABOUT_US":"About Us","ADD_TEXT_IMAGE_BOTH":"Add text, image, or both","ADD_YOURS":"Add Yours!","ADD_YOUR_VIDEO":"Add Your Video","AD_DISCLAIMER":"This is a personal, non-sponsored post by a member of BuzzFeed's ad content team.","AGAIN":"Again!","AGAIN_SPAIN":"","ALREADY_REACT":"Oops! It looks like you've already used that reaction on this post.","ATTACH_IMAGE":"Attach Image","BACK":"Back","BREAKING":"Breaking","BREAKING_NEWS":"Breaking News","BUZZFEED_COM":"buzzfeed.com","BUZZFEED_HOME":"BuzzFeed Home","BUZZFEED_INC":"BuzzFeed, Inc","BUZZFEED_QUIZZES":"BuzzFeed Quizzes","BUZZFEED_REPORTING_TO_YOU":"BuzzFeed, Reporting To You","BUZZFEED_STAFF":"BuzzFeed Staff","BY":"By","CLICK_FOR_MORE":"Click for More...","CLICK_TO_REVEAL":"Click to reveal","CLOSE":"Close","CLOSE_THIS_MODAL":"Close this modal","COMMENTS":"Comments","COMMERCE_DISCLAIMER":"We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI \u2014 prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.","COMMERCE_DISCLAIMER_PARTNERSHIP":"We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed collects a share of sales and\/or other compensation from the links on this page. Oh, and FYI \u2014 prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.","COMMERCE_SEO_ACCESSORIES":"Looking for more great accessories? From the best places to buy glasses online<\/a> to the best purses on Amazon<\/a>, we\u2019ve got you covered. ","COMMERCE_SEO_BEDROOM":"Want more for your bedroom? Check out the best bedding<\/a> you can get online, our favorite mattresses you can get on Amazon<\/a>, the best bed frames to get on Amazon<\/a> if you need somewhere to put that new mattress, and the best pillows on Amazon<\/a> to finish off your new bedroom setup.","COMMERCE_SEO_CLEANING_ORGANIZATION":"Make your life even tidier. Check out the best all-natural cleaning products<\/a> for your home, the best bathroom cleaning products<\/a>, organization products<\/a> perfect for neat freaks, and, of course, our ultimate guide to cleaning<\/a> every single room in your house.","COMMERCE_SEO_CLOTHING":"Want more? Check out our favorite online clothing stores<\/a> for all your shopping needs, perfect places to shop for clothes if you\u2019re in your 30s<\/a>, plus the best places to order custom t-shirts online<\/a> and the best clothing stores for petite sizes<\/a>. Still not satisfied? Check out all of our clothing<\/a> content for even more.","COMMERCE_SEO_FURNITURE_DECOR":"Looking for more stuff to help make your house a home? Check out the best places to buy inexpensive furniture<\/a> online, the best places to buy couches<\/a> online, cute home decor<\/a> you\u2019ll wish you knew about sooner, or check out all of our home<\/a> content for even more great ideas.","COMMERCE_SEO_GENERIC_AMAZON":"Looking for more great Amazon finds? Check out some of our favorite cheap things to buy on Amazon<\/a>, some of the weirdest things on Amazon<\/a> you might actually want, or read through all the rest of our incredible Amazon product recommendations<\/a>.","COMMERCE_SEO_GIFTS":"Find the perfect gift for any occasion, from white elephant gift<\/a> exchanges to gifts for teachers<\/a>, housewarming gifts<\/a> to birthday gifts<\/a>, and even the perfect gift basket<\/a> if you\u2019re truly stumped. Plus, check out the BuzzFeed gift guide<\/a> for even more incredible gifting ideas.","COMMERCE_SEO_HAIR_PRODUCTS":"Need more for your mane? We\u2019ve got products to give you the silkiest hair ever<\/a>, solutions for dry or damaged hair<\/a>, and incredible products for short hair<\/a>. Plus, the best wigs<\/a> for anyone who\u2019d rather improve their \u2018do that way. Or check out all of our beauty<\/a> content for even more great stuff for your hair, skin, and more.","COMMERCE_SEO_SEX_TOYS":"Looking for more ~pleasure~? Check out the best sex toys you can get on Amazon<\/a>, the best places to buy all kinds of sex toys online<\/a>, the best vibrators you can get online<\/a>, and sex toys that will make you squirt<\/a>.","COMMERCE_SEO_SHOES":"Want more? Check out the best places to buy shoes online<\/a>, or the best shoes for wide feet<\/a> if you need a little extra room.","COMMERCE_SEO_SKIN_PRODUCTS":"Need more for your skin? Check out Korean skincare products<\/a> you need to know, cheap skincare<\/a> products that are even better than luxury brands, products for an even skin tone<\/a> or to deal with acne scars<\/a>, or check out all of our beauty<\/a> content for even more great stuff for your hair, skin, and more.","COMMERCE_SEO_SWIMWEAR":"Want to keep looking? Check out our favorite places to buy the best bathing suits online<\/a>, or places to buy the best bikinis online<\/a>.","COMMERCE_SEO_TRAVEL":"Wanderlust not satisfied yet? Check out more travel products, like the best carry-on bags you can get on Amazon<\/a>, travel accessories for long flights<\/a>, and the best places to buy luggage online<\/a>.","COMMERCE_SEO_UNDERWEAR":"Looking for more? Check out our picks for the places that sell the best underwear for women <\/a>online, the best places to buy bras<\/a> online, or our favorite places to buy affordable lingerie<\/a> online.","COMPANY":"Company","CONFIDENTIAL_TIP":"Got a confidential tip? Submit it here<\/a>.","CONNECT_WITH":"Connect With","CONSENT_CONTINUE":"Continue without Opting Out","CONSENT_OPT_OUT":"Opt Out","CONTACT_AT_EMAIL":"Contact {{ display_name }} at {{ email }}<\/a>.","CONTACT_REPORTER":"Contact this reporter at","CONTENT_NO_LONGER_SUPPORTED":"Sorry, this content is no longer<\/i> supported.","CONTINUE":"Continue","COOKIE_INFO":"Cookie Info","COOKIE_LANGUAGE_PROMPT_MESSAGE":"This BuzzFeed homepage is tailored for our readers in {}.","COPYRIGHT_BUZZFEED_INC":"Copyright BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.","COPY_LINK":"Copy Link","COPY_LINK_SHARE":"Copy Link","COPY_POLL_LINK":"Copy Poll Link","COPY_QUIZ_LINK":"Copy Quiz Link","CORRECT":"Correct!","CUTE":"Cute","DASHBOARD":"Dashboard","DAYS_AGO":"{} days ago","DAY_AGO":"{} day ago","DEVELOPING":"Developing story","DOWNLOAD_PDF":"Download PDF","EMAIL":"Email","ENTER_TEXT":"Enter text...","ENTER_VALID_EMAIL":"Please enter a valid email address","EMAIL_ADDRESS":"Email Address","FAIL":"Fail","FAVORITE":"Favorite","FEATURES":"Features","FEATURED_POSTS":"Featured Posts","FOLLOW_ON_TWITTER":"Follow On Twitter","FOLLOW_US_ON":"Follow us on","FOLLOW_US_ON_TWITTER":"Follow us on Twitter","FOLLOW_US_ON_TWITTER_NEWS":"","FULL_VENDOR_LIST":"See full vendor list","GDPR_PREFERENCES":"GDPR Preferences","GET_FIRST_EMAIL":"You're almost there! Check your inbox and confirm your subscription now!","GET_MORE_NEWS":"Get More News","GET_OUR_AWARD_WINNING_NEWS_APP":"Get our award-winning News App!","GET_OUR_NEWS_APP":"Get our News App!","GIVE_MORE_FEEDBACK":"Give More Feedback","GOT_A_TIP":"Got a tip?","GOT_A_CONFIDENTIAL_TIP":"Got a confidential tip?","GO_BACK_AND_VOTE":"Go Back And Vote","GO_TO_THE_RECIPE":"Go to the recipe!","GRAPHIC_IMAGE":"This image is graphic","GREAT":"Great!","GUESS":"Guess","HEY_BUZZFEED_COMMUNITY":"Hey BuzzFeed Community!","HOURS_AGO":"{} hours ago","HOUR_AGO":"{} hour ago","IMAGE":"Image","IMAGE_UPLOADING_FAILED":"Image uploading failed.","I_ACCEPT":"I accept","I_AGREE_TO_THE_TERMS":"I agree to the terms<\/a>","I_DO_NOT_ACCEPT":"I do not accept","I_GIVE_UP":"I give up!","I_GOT_CORRECT_OUT_OF_TOTAL":"I got <%=correct%> out of <%=total%>! How do you measure up?","I_GOT_X":"I got <%=&value%>!","I_VERB_OUT_OF_TOTAL":"I <%=&verb%> <%=selected%> out of <%=total%> <%=&subject%>","I_VOTED":"I voted <%=&vote%>! \\\"<%=&question%>\\\"","JUST_NOW":"just now","LAST_UPDATED_ON":"Last updated on","LATEST":"Latest","LATEST_POSTS_FROM":"Latest Posts From {{ name }}","LEARN_MORE":"Learn more","LEFT":"Left","LEGITIMATE_INTEREST_PURPOSES":"Legitimate Interest Purposes","LET_US_KNOW_HOW_WE_CAN_MAKE_THE_NEW_HOMEPAGE_BETTER":"Let us know how we can make the new homepage better.","LIKE_US_ON":"Like us on ","LIKE_ON_FACEBOOK":"Like On Facebook","LIKE_US_ON_FACEBOOK":"Like us on Facebook","LIKE_US_ON_FACEBOOK_NEWS":"","LINE":"","LINK_COPIED":"Link Copied!","LIVE":"LIVE","LOAD_MORE":"Load more","LOG_IN_OR_SIGN_UP_TO_CREATE_YOUR_OWN_POSTS":"Log in<\/a> or sign up<\/a> to create your own posts.","LOG_IN_TO_BUZZFEED":"Log In To BuzzFeed","LOG_OUT":"Log Out","LOL":"LOL","MAKE_A_POST":"Make A Post!","MAKE_IT_YOUR_DEFAULT":"Make it your default.","MENU_ABOUT":"About","MENU_CONTACT":"Contact","MENU_JOBS":"Jobs","MENU_MORE":"More","MENU_NEWS":"News","MENU_PRESS":"Press","MENU_PRIVACY":"Privacy","MENU_TERMS":"User Terms","META_DESCRIPTION_HOME":"BuzzFeed has breaking news, vital journalism, quizzes, videos, celeb news, Tasty food videos, recipes, DIY hacks, and all the trending buzz you\u2019ll want to share with your friends. Copyright BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved.","META_DESCRIPTION_HOME_SPAIN":"","META_DESCRIPTION":"BuzzFeed News has breaking stories and original reporting on politics, world news, social media, viral trends, health, science, technology, entertainment, and LGBTQ issues.","META_TITLE":"BuzzFeed News | Breaking News | Original Reporting | News Analysis","MINUTES":"minutes","MINUTES_AGO":"{} minutes ago","MINUTE_AGO":"{} minute ago","MONTHS_AGO":"{} months ago","MONTH_0":"January","MONTH_1":"February","MONTH_10":"November","MONTH_11":"December","MONTH_2":"March","MONTH_3":"April","MONTH_4":"May","MONTH_5":"June","MONTH_6":"July","MONTH_7":"August","MONTH_8":"September","MONTH_9":"October","MONTH_AGO":"{} month ago","MONTH_SHORT_0":"Jan.","MONTH_SHORT_1":"Feb.","MONTH_SHORT_10":"Nov.","MONTH_SHORT_11":"Dec.","MONTH_SHORT_2":"Mar.","MONTH_SHORT_3":"Apr.","MONTH_SHORT_4":"May","MONTH_SHORT_5":"Jun.","MONTH_SHORT_6":"Jul.","MONTH_SHORT_7":"Aug.","MONTH_SHORT_8":"Sept.","MONTH_SHORT_9":"Oct.","MORE":"More","MORE_CONTRIBUTIONS":"More Contributions","MORE_LIKE_THIS":"More like this:","MORE_NEWS":"More News","MORE_PLEASE":"More Please","MY_DRAFTS":"My Drafts","NAME":"Name","NEWS":"News","NEW_POST":"New Post","NEW_UPDATE":"New Update","NEWSLETTER_EMAIL_INVALID":"Womp. It looks like this is an invalid email!","NEWSLETTER_EMAIL_MISSING":"Whoops! You need to enter an email first.","NEWSLETTER_EMAIL_SOMETHING_WRONG":"Oh no! Something went wrong.","NEWSLETTER_EMAIL_SUCCESS":"You've successfully signed up. Psst: Look out for a confirmation email!","NEWSLETTER_KEEP_UP":"Keep up with the BuzzFeed News daily email!","NEWSLETTER_NEWS_MOVES_FAST":"News Moves Fast","NEXT_PAGE":"Next page","NEXT_QUIZ":"Next Quiz","NOW_BUZZING":"Now Buzzing","OH_NO_SOMETHING_WENT_WRONG":"Oh no, something went wrong.","OMG":"OMG","OOPS_IMAGE_TOO_BIG":"Oops! Your Image was too big. It needs to be under 10MB.","OOPS_PLEASE_ENTER_FIELDS_ABOVE":"Oops! Please enter the fields above and agree to the terms before continuing.","OOPS_SOMETHING_WRONG":"Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later","OOPS_UPLOAD_IMAGE_OR_TEXT":"Oops! Upload an image or add text to submit.","OOPS_WRONG_FILE_TYPE_NEED_IMAGE":"Oops! We can\u2019t accept that file type. It needs to be a jpg, gif, or png.","OR":"or","ORIGINALLY_POSTED_ON":"Originally posted on","PAGE":"Page","PIN":"Pin","PLAY":"Play","PLEASE_WAIT_WHILE_WE_UPLOAD":"Please wait while we upload your video","POLL_CLOSED":"This poll is now closed.","POPULAR_CATEGORIES":"Popular Categories","POSTED_AT":"Posted at ","POSTED_ON":"Posted on ","POST_CREATED_BY_BF_COMMUNITY_MEMBER":"This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations.","POST_NOT_VETTED":"This post has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can create a post.","POST_YOUR_BUZZ":"post your buzz!","PREVIOUS_PAGE":"Previous page","PRIVACY_POLICY":"Privacy policy","PRODUCT_NAV_TITLE":"Skip ahead to your favorite:","PRODUCT_NAV_TITLE_SHOPPABLE":"Skip ahead to your favorite look:","PRODUCT_NAV_TITLE_UK":"Skip ahead to your favourite:","PROMOTED":"Promoted","PROMOTED_BY":"Promoted By","PURPOSES":"Purposes","QUICKLY_CATCH_UP":"Quickly Catch Up","QUIZZES":"Quizzes","QUIZZES_ON_BUZZFEED":"Quizzes on BuzzFeed","REACT_MAX_3":"Sorry, but you can only react up to 3 times!","READ_MORE":"Read More","REPLY":"Reply","REPORTING_FROM":"Reporting From","REPORTING_TO_YOU":"Reporting To You","RESPONSES":"Responses","RESULTS":"Results","RETAKE_QUIZ":"Retake Quiz","RETURN_TO_BF_HOMEPAGE":"Return to BuzzFeed's Homepage","RETURN_TO_BF_NEWS":"Return to BuzzFeed News","RETURN_TO_BF_TASTY_HOMEPAGE":"Return to Tasty Homepage","RETWEET":"Retweet","RIGHT":"Right","SEARCH":"Search","SEARCH_ALL_QUIZZES":"Search All Quizzes","SECTIONS":"Sections","SEE_ALL_COMMENTS":"See all comments","SEE_MORE":"Show more","SERVER_ERROR":"Looks like we are having a problem on the server","SHARE":"Share","SHARE_ARTICLE":"Share This Article","SHARE_ON_FB":"Share On Facebook","SHARE_ON_X":"Share On {{name}}","SHARE_RESULTS":"Share Your Results","SHARE_THIS_LINK":"Share This Link","SHARE_VOTE":"Share Your Vote!","SHOPPABLE_RECAP":"Here\u2019s a recap of all the looks:","SHOW_MORE":"Show More","SHOW_NEW_IMAGE":"Show new image","SHOW_ORIGINAL_IMAGE":"Show original image","SHOW_PURPOSES":"Show purposes","SIGN_IN_TO_ADD_YOURS":"Sign In to Add Yours","SIGN_UP":"Sign up","SKIP_TO_CONTENT":"Skip To Content","SLIDE":"Slide","SMS":"SMS","SORRY_SOMETHING_WRONG":"Sorry! Something went wrong. Please try again.","SPOILER_ALERT":"SPOILER ALERT","SPONSORED_BY":"Sponsored By","SUBMIT":"Submit","SUBSCRIBE_TO_OUR_RSS":"Subscribe to our RSS feed","SUBSCRIBE_TO_US_ON":"Subscribe To Us On","SUPPORT_US":"Support Us","SWITCH_TO_ENGLISH":"Switch to English","SWITCH_TO_US":"Switch to US.","TAP_TO_PLAY_GIF":"Tap to play GIF","TAP_TO_REVEAL":"Tap to reveal","TAP_TO_VIEW_ENHANCED_PAGE_VERSION":"Tap here to view the enhanced version of this page","THANKS_FOR_VOTING":"Thanks for voting!","THANKS_FOR_YOUR_FEEDBACK":"Thanks for your feedback!","THANKS_YOUR_VIDEO_UPLOADED":"Thanks, your video has been added!","THATS_AWESOME":"That's awesome!","THERE_ARE_NO_COMMENTS_YET":"There are no comments yet.","THIRD_PARTY_VENDORS":"Third-party vendors","THIS_COULD_TAKE_A_MINUTE":"This could take a minute!","TOGGLE_SHARING_OPTIONS":"Toggle Sharing Options","TOPICS_LIST_TITLE":"Topics In This Article","TOP_POST":"top post","TOP_POSTS":"Top Posts","TOP_POSTS_BUZZFEED":"Top Posts on BuzzFeed","TOP_POSTS_FROM":"Top Posts From","TOP_POSTS_THIS_WEEK":"Top Posts This Week","TRENDING":"Trending","TRENDING_NOW":"Trending Now","TRENDING_NOW_SPAIN":"","TRENDING_ON_BUZZFEED":"Trending on BuzzFeed","TRENDING_ON_NEWS":"Trending News","TRENDING_QUIZZES":"Trending Quizzes","TRENDING_VIDEOS":"Trending Videos","TRY":"Try \u201c{{name}}\u201d","TRY_AGAIN_LATER":"Please try again later","TRY_RELOADING":"Try reloading this page","TRY_UPLOADING_AGAIN":"Try uploading again.","TWEET":"Tweet","UNABLE_TO_ADD_COMMENT":"Unable to add comment.","UNABLE_TO_COPY_LINK":"Unable to copy link!","UNABLE_TO_LOAD_COMMENTS":"Unable to load comments.","UNABLE_TO_SHOW_IMAGE_PREVIEW":"Unable to show image preview.","UPDATED_ON":"Updated on","UPDATES":"Updates","UPDATE_CONSENT":"Update Consent","USER_AGREEMENT":"User Agreement","VIDEO_DURATION":"Video duration","VIEWING_FULL_SITE":"viewing the full site.","VIEWS":"Views","VIEW_COMPANIES":"View companies","VIEW_FB_COMMENTS":"View Comments","VIEW_FULL_SITE_SIGNED_IN":"View the full site while signed in to comment!","VIEW_ON_ENHANCED_PAGE":"View on enhanced page","VIEW_POST_ON_FB":"View this post on Facebook","VIEW_PROFILE":"View Profile","VIEW_RESPONSES":"View Responses","VIEW_RESULTS":"View Results","VIEW_THIS_ON_X":"View this {{type}} on {{name}}","VIEW_THIS_VIDEO_ON_YT":"View this video on YouTube","VISIT_WEBSITE":"Visit Website","VOTE":"vote","VOTES":"votes","WARNING":"Warning","WATCH":"Watch","WATCH_IT_LIVE":"Watch it live in the Facebook App","WED_LOVE_TO_HEAR_WHAT_ELSE_YOU_HAVE_TO_SAY":"We'd love to hear what else you have to say.","WED_LOVE_TO_HEAR_WHAT_ELSE_YOU_HAVE_TO_SAY_SPAIN":"","WED_LOVE_YOUR_FEEDBACK":"We'd love your feedback!","WEEKS_AGO":"{} weeks ago","WEEK_AGO":"{} week ago","WELCOME_TO_THE_NEW_BUZZFEED_HOMEPAGE":"Welcome to the new BuzzFeed homepage!","WELCOME_TO_THE_NEW_BUZZFEED_HOMEPAGE_FEEDBACK":"Welcome to the new BuzzFeed homepage!","WERE_SORRY_TO_HEAR_THAT":"We're sorry to hear that.","WERE_SORRY_TO_HEAR_THAT_SPAIN":"","WE_VALUE_YOUR_PRIVACY":"We value your privacy","WHAT_DO_YOU_THINK":"What do you think?","WIN":"Win","WRONG":"Wrong!","WTF":"WTF","YEARS_AGO":"{} years ago","YEAR_AGO":"{} year ago","YOUR_ANSWER":"Your Answer","YOUR_EMAIL":"Email address","YOUR_MESSAGE_WAS_POSTED":"Your message was posted successfully","YOU_GOT":"You got:","YOU_GOT_CORRECT_OUT_OF_TOTAL":"You got <%=correct%> out of <%=total%> right!","YOU_VERB_OUT_OF_TOTAL":"You <%=&verb%> <%=selected%> out of <%=total%> <%=&subject%>","YOUR_EMAIL_ADDRESS":"Your Email Address","SEND_IT_TO_US":"Send it to us!","READ_MORE_IN":"Read More In","YOU_RE_CAUGHT_UP":"You're all caught up!"}

I'm So Sorry, But Here's How Some Male Authors For Really Real Described Women In Books

1. "You know what this sentence needs? EMOTION. Specifically, breast emotion."

2. "Of course breasts ripple because — duh — physics!"

3. "What simile would make sense for butt cheeks? WAIT, I'VE GOT IT."

4. "I have taken zero anatomy classes but don't worry, I know how this works."

5. "What's a unique way to describe goosebumps????"

6. "Sometimes she didn't even brush her teeth and guess what? STILL SEXY."

7. "God I'm hungry."

8. "This is definitely how bodies work."

9. "I know a lot about periods if you couldn't tell!!!!"

10. "This makes sense."

11. "I'm POSITIVE breasts move at even the slightest gesture."

12. "I've always wanted to use 'breast flesh' in a sentence."

13. "Any excuse to use the word 'joggled!!!!!'"

14. "See through nose holes really turn me on."

15. "Hey, if you didn't already know...I'm basically a menstruation expert."

H/T r/MenWritingWomen

Share This Article

Want great book recommendations in your inbox every week? Sign up for the BuzzFeed Books newsletter!