I recently asked the men of the BuzzFeed Community what their unspoken "bro code rules" are, and the responses definitely surprised me. Here is what some had to say:
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
1. "If your friend leaves a party and you think they are too drunk, have them text when they get home. Guys are uncomfortable asking for and receiving help but will still appreciate it."
2. "It's an unspoken rule that when using a public bathroom, you don't use the urinal next to an occupied one — it's seen as an invasion of privacy. We need space to do our business. Also, don't look at someone as you're both using the urinal, it's just plain weird and most likely feels uncomfortable for the both of you."
3. "You don't hook up or date a buddy's ex unless specifically given the okay."
—Anonymous
4. "As a father of three boys, I've thought about this a lot. The one rule I always repeat to them is that a man stands up. It means a variety of things, from standing when the older adults or a woman needs a seat, to the more general, standing beside those who need you. That means everything from taking part in all spousal responsibilities, from cleaning and childcare to ensuring your spouse has room to take time for themselves. It had an ethical implication as well. I tell my boys, when something is wrong and everyone else is silent, it's your job to stand up and say it. It's the basis on which we explore a new idea of manhood, and it grows as they grow and we can talk about it more."
—Bobby
5. "It's ok to spend a lot of time sitting on the toilet, scrolling through your phone or reading a book. It doesn't matter if you've finished your lavatorial business or not."
6. "When at a cookout, there is only one grill master, no one else is allowed to touch anything on the grill unless specifically asked to by the grill master. Another one is that it's ok to admit you're lost, but it's never okay to ask for directions. I'll figure it out."
7. "The nod when you make eye contact with a guy anywhere to show you are cool and not a threat."
—James, 36
8. "Never belittle a friend in front of someone he wants to impress. Never bad-mouth a friend's parent(s), not even when they treat him like crap. Lastly, you can borrow anything without asking, but only when you know what he doesn't want you to touch."
9. "Guys should watch out for each other's mental health. I went through a breakdown, and my boys checked in on me throughout. And vice versa, I have at least two guy friends who struggle with depression. We're there as sounding boards and vent sessions. Not all guys do this, but close ones may. It's important, and a lot of men are still ashamed to 'not be okay.'"
—Jesse, 41
10. "If my friend starts talking to a woman in a bar, I'll hype him up to her by talking about what a great person he is."
11. "I am a woman, but I was in the military for nine years as the only female in my aviation unit. I noticed the guys would make broad, disparaging jokes about male anatomy but avoid making personal digs. Being jocular was fine, but it couldn't be about something the guy actually cared about. There was an unspoken rule about limits in what could be said, even in anger, that they respected. I've known a lot of women who go straight for the jugular and say the cruelest thing they know will hurt you just to cut you down and humiliate you."
—Anonymous
12. "Don't rat your boys out for cheating. Don't mess with another friend's girl or car. If your boy is fighting, you better jump in."
—Scott, 50
13. "If your bro is dating someone that is terrible, just keep your mouth shut and ride it out. There's no point in ruining your friendship over a relationship that is doomed anyway. Support your bro's fandom, even if they pull for the Cowboys or whatever team you hate. Beers are for sharing. Ask how your bro's momma is doing if you haven't talked to him in a while. Debts due over billiards, darts, cornhole, etc, can carry over forever. Lastly, you must take care of your bro if he gets too drunk."
14. "Always the one-stall rule. If there are three stalls and one guy is in the right one, PLEASE go to the left one, not the middle one."
—Anonymous
15. And finally, "Don't have sex with your friend's ex-girlfriends, no matter how long they've been split up! Sadly, two of my best friends' friendships ended because of this."
—Dallas, 42