I recently stumbled upon this Reddit thread where u/TrueAlphaMale69420 asked "Men of Reddit, what shouldn't men be judged for doing?" and several of the answers that followed were really eye-opening. Here are some of them.
1. "Taking their full paternity leave as permitted by their employer."
2. "Having hobbies people define as effeminate — such as baking, gardening, textiles, stuff like that."
3. "Interacting with kids. Especially younger kids."
5. "Seeking support with mental health. I grew up in an environment where this wasn’t ok — but in adulthood — I very much needed help working through things and didn’t have the tools or understanding to do it alone."
8. "Being short. Literally, no one has control over their height. Judge people for the things they can control."
9. "Getting physically taken care of. Like, a massage or going to a spa. Why should women be the only ones to get that stuff? Massages are the best thing — especially if you do lots of heavy lifting, sports, and so on."
11. "Not being comfortable around kids. It doesn't mean they can't handle kids or don't like kids. Most likely, it just means they're new to it."
12. "Taking long showers. I wish I could take a long shower without everybody in the household thinking I'm having a wank. I just want to enjoy hot water, it's relaxing."
13. "Not being in the mood for sex. Women (or men) can take it so personally. Sometimes, we're too exhausted."
14. "Expressing ourselves. My wife is pregnant and has a full-time job. Since she’s been pregnant, I’ve taken on doing 100% of the cooking, cleaning, errands, groceries, rubbing her feet, and taking care of her. When she gets home from work, I put on her favorite show and have her relax the rest of the day; I refuse to have her do any work, and so on."
"This is additional to me already working my job where I pay all our bills, do yard work, and do vehicle maintenance. I work from the time I get up to the moment we go to bed. I love my wife very much and want this time for her to be as easy as possible because I know she’s having it tough. She knows that I’ve been busting my ass lately, but anyone on the outside thinks men do nothing during this time.
Conversations with other people usually go in the way of berating me (or men in the relationship) by insinuating that I need to step it up more, I’m not doing enough, and if I dare bring up the fact that I’m overwhelmed, I’m seen as weak and unfit to be her husband. I get it, though, there are some really shitty guys out there, and they’re taking their frustration out on me, but for those of us who are actually putting forth an effort, it’s demoralizing. This type of behavior is why a lot of men simply say nothing because we’d rather not say anything for 15 minutes than deal with hours of drama."