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Men Are Revealing Things They Want To Stop Being Judged For Doing, And Some Of These Had Never Even Occurred To Me Before

"It's not some phase or a mid-life crisis. Stop labeling men as immature for enjoying things they couldn't when they were younger."

I recently stumbled upon this Reddit thread where u/TrueAlphaMale69420 asked "Men of Reddit, what shouldn't men be judged for doing?" and several of the answers that followed were really eye-opening. Here are some of them.

a sad man

1. "Taking their full paternity leave as permitted by their employer."

a dad with a newborn laying on his chest

2. "Having hobbies people define as effeminate — such as baking, gardening, textiles, stuff like that."


3. "Interacting with kids. Especially younger kids."

a male teacher interacting with kids

4. "Complimenting another man."


5. "Seeking support with mental health. I grew up in an environment where this wasn’t ok — but in adulthood — I very much needed help working through things and didn’t have the tools or understanding to do it alone."

a man on a therapist's couch

6. "Showing emotion, or not showing emotion. We should get to choose how we feel."


7. "Not making the first move."


a man texting on his phone

8. "Being short. Literally, no one has control over their height. Judge people for the things they can control."


9. "Getting physically taken care of. Like, a massage or going to a spa. Why should women be the only ones to get that stuff? Massages are the best thing — especially if you do lots of heavy lifting, sports, and so on."

a man getting a massage

10. "Being shy."


11. "Not being comfortable around kids. It doesn't mean they can't handle kids or don't like kids. Most likely, it just means they're new to it."


12. "Taking long showers. I wish I could take a long shower without everybody in the household thinking I'm having a wank. I just want to enjoy hot water, it's relaxing."

a showerhead

13. "Not being in the mood for sex. Women (or men) can take it so personally. Sometimes, we're too exhausted."


14. "Expressing ourselves. My wife is pregnant and has a full-time job. Since she’s been pregnant, I’ve taken on doing 100% of the cooking, cleaning, errands, groceries, rubbing her feet, and taking care of her. When she gets home from work, I put on her favorite show and have her relax the rest of the day; I refuse to have her do any work, and so on."

"This is additional to me already working my job where I pay all our bills, do yard work, and do vehicle maintenance. I work from the time I get up to the moment we go to bed. I love my wife very much and want this time for her to be as easy as possible because I know she’s having it tough. She knows that I’ve been busting my ass lately, but anyone on the outside thinks men do nothing during this time. 

Conversations with other people usually go in the way of berating me (or men in the relationship) by insinuating that I need to step it up more, I’m not doing enough, and if I dare bring up the fact that I’m overwhelmed, I’m seen as weak and unfit to be her husband. I get it, though, there are some really shitty guys out there, and they’re taking their frustration out on me, but for those of us who are actually putting forth an effort, it’s demoralizing. This type of behavior is why a lot of men simply say nothing because we’d rather not say anything for 15 minutes than deal with hours of drama."


15. "Getting a sports car or new clothes. I couldn't afford the cars I wanted when I was younger. It's not some phase or a mid-life crisis. Stop labeling men as immature for enjoying things they couldn't when they were younger. Maturity is not defined by one's hobbies or interests. And I just like the car."

a man driving a sports car

16. "Drinking cocktails instead of beer. Or, 'girly drinks.' It’s my money dammit, and I’m gonna drink something that tastes good."


a bartender pouring a shot

17. "Not peeing standing up. Sitting is so much more comfortable."


18. "Parenting kids. Working in primary education and being a babysitter. People just automatically assume that when a man is doing these things, he’s not to be trusted. But women are never suspected? It doesn’t make sense. If you are concerned with protecting your kids from unsavory individuals, do a background check."


19. "Being close to their parents. Just because a man is close to his parents and mother doesn’t mean he’s a 'mama's boy.'"

a man hugging his mom

20. "Bringing up something that bothers them about their partner, from the major to minor issues. Honestly, having to deal with the 2-hour long fallout about how said issues make YOUR PARTNER FEEL after they hear it, makes it not worth it. So, that shit gets bottled up."


21. "Having trust issues with women. We are supposed to accept women have trust issues with men, but guys are taken less seriously even when they have solid reasons."


22. "Hairlines."


23. "'Manspreading.' My reproductive organs are on the outside; it's not comfy squishing them."

a man manspreading on the subway

24. "I used to love taking long walks by myself at night when I was in high school. Nowadays, I’m worried someone is gonna think I’m being creepy."


Are there any other things you think men shouldn't be judged for? Tell me in the comments below!