I'm a 30-year-old female who would love to have kids one day, but not right now (or even in the next year). So I always find it refreshing to hear from women who had children later in life and their experiences. Here is what some women in the BuzzFeed Community and this Reddit thread had to say:
1. "I was 37 when I met my husband. First child at 40, second child at 45. Physically it was tough being a mom to two little ones in my 40s (my lower back will never be the same) but otherwise, it was great. Kids are grown and now I am super motivated to stay healthy so I can be there for the grandkids I hope to see one day."
2. "I met the love of my life late in life, and I have no regrets. We met when I was 37— married when I was 39. We got pregnant four months later. I gave birth three weeks ago to a healthy baby boy at 40. I'm at my happiest now."
3. "I met my husband when I was 34 years old. We had two unintended pregnancies VERY quickly, within six months of knowing each other. The first was ectopic, so had to be terminated, the second was healthy and resulted in the amazing kiddo we have today. I turned 35 while pregnant and am now in my late 40s. I give all the background because I feel like in my 30s, I was on the cusp of being still silly, yet entering maturity. Being in my 30s, I think I had the maturity and stability to be a parent and long-term partner."
4. "I met my husband at 34, married at 35, first kid at 36, and second at 37. It's been an amazing adventure so far and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Finding him later in life gave us the opportunity to truly know ourselves and what we wanted in a partner and luckily for us we didn’t have to settle. It also allowed us to be more financially stable, which is a huge help. I wouldn’t change a thing."
5. "I met my husband at 35 (almost 36), and we married when I was 38. I froze my eggs in my early thirties, so we now have two children — one was born when I was 40, and the other was born when I was 41. My eldest is about to turn 3. It’s been hard having back-to-back pregnancies and two toddlers. But they are absolutely the lights in our lives. I’d love to have another, but my OB has advised against it. We’ve also been able to give them so much because we’ve worked hard in our careers, advanced our education, and saved well. But I wish I could give them more years with me and my husband, that’s the only thing I worry about. And I don’t want them to feel pressured to have children young so that they can know us. I want them to live their lives the way they want."
"Having children is a deeply personal and subjective decision. Everyone is different. Some 20-somethings cannot get pregnant no matter how hard they’ve tried, and the 'geriatric' 37-year-old gets pregnant on the first try. There are many, many women considered geriatric pregnancies that are in excellent shape and will likely have no problem carrying."
6. "It's been great! We did deal with infertility and IVF, and my son was born just after I turned 38. I had an uneventful pregnancy, a beautiful and uneventful birth, and a quick and easy recovery, and my little bub is currently nine weeks and sitting on my lap. He started smiling recently, which is like the best thing ever. The transition has been difficult, as any big transition is (especially when you're type A like I am), and I've learned who's there for me, but ultimately, life is good. I'm very fortunate to have an amazing partner who's a great dad and a job that provides benefits that allow me to do all of this."
7. "I got married at 35 and recently found out that I'm pregnant with my first at 38 years old, while I have some friends with kids who have already graduated high school. Life is weird, but I wouldn't trade my freedom and singledom in my 20s and early 30s for anything. I don't think there is any right way to do things. We are all on our own timeline."
8. "I had my first at 35. Turned 36 two months later. The second was born when I was 39. As far as stress on my body, I didn't notice any. When they were little, I was able to keep up. Now that they're older, they keep me up to date. Did I notice that I was older than most of the moms? Yeah, but it never bothered me. I could have given them a run for their money. Also, I keep reading about all these parents complaining that they don't have help or don't want their in-laws to care for the kids. We never had a babysitter. Me and my significant other did almost everything on our own. If his mom had come to visit, we may have taken advantage of the help but, it was rare. We truly were amazed by and enjoyed our children."
9. "I had my son at 37. I was in the best shape of my life. I’ll be 40 this month and still in great shape. Taking good care of yourself means you’ll be able to stay active as you grow. I do more with him in terms of on the ground, in the mud, running around the park playing than many moms a decade or more younger than me."
10. "I started a family at age 37. I have three kids now, the youngest was born when I turned 43 a few months ago. I agree with the commenters saying that I have no regrets about spending my younger years figuring out who I am and having all sorts of adventures that I'll never tell my kids about. My husband and I both make good enough money and are at stable places in our careers. We have no FOMO for a life that could have been. I love my children and am my favorite version of myself, so I feel better equipped to parent them."
11. "I had my son at 37, and he is now 3.5. My husband is 45, and I am now 40. I'd really like a second, but he is very much against it because he feels he's too old and we missed our window. Other than that really difficult situation and regret I now have about starting late because of his stance, our experience has been really good. (We started trying when I was in my mid-30s, but I had two miscarriages each in the first trimester, so we did try to do it sooner). We are financially and emotionally much better off than we were when we first married nine years before our son was born."
12. "36 and just had my first baby. The bad stuff: My husband and I have been together for 13 years. We have been married for 5. It took a long time for him to be in a place where he was ready for marriage and children. I don't regret standing by my man, but it was definitely hard to wait. It took us three very painful years to have a baby (IVF). I don't know if it would have made a difference, but it's hard not to regret not trying sooner. At 36, with a bad hip, it was hard on my body to be pregnant and now take care of a baby. The thought of doing it all again and being older again if we want to give him a sibling is daunting."
"The good stuff: My husband and I have very good jobs. We both have good long-term career prospects, and that simply wouldn't have been possible if we had a child in our 20s. We have a beautiful home that we may not have been able to afford if we had a baby in our 20s. Overall we are better able to provide now because we are older and more established. We have also traveled and generally been lucky enough to have a full life together pre-kids. On a personal note, I think I am better emotionally equipped to be a mother now than ever.
The best stuff: Him. My baby is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me. Watching my husband become a father is such a gift. I love them both more than I ever thought I could love two people, and my life is happier than I ever dreamed it could be."