12 Things You Hear At Brown Weddings

If you are brown, have been to a 'desi' wedding, then you've probably heard all of this being said to you or someone else and faced the struggle of trying not to shoot the people who have said it

1. "Aur beta, what are your future plans?"

Via media.newschoolers.com

2. "I should look thin in the picture, okay!"

Via rollingout.com

No, lardilicious, just because I'm using my dad's SLR does not mean I can make your chins miraculously disappear.

3. "You look very handsome, beta! We should look for a bride for you too!"

Via community.us.playstation.com

Mind your own business!

4. "You look very beautiful, beta!"

Via static.tumblr.com

Girls, remember when you didn't know how to use makeup properly (or have a fashion sense for that matter) but you used it anyway thinking you DA BOMB?

And now that you look at old pictures, the horror dawns upon you.

Yeah.... #lifeisabitch #youugly

Also, now that you DO know how to apply makeup properly, you probably think "nice try, aunty! But I'm not gonna marry your son. or his friend. or his cousin. or his friend's cousin :) "

Because most aunties at brown weddings are hungry predators hunting for prey.

5. "Do you know how much dowry they gave? Only a furnished house, tonnes of jewelry and clothes and necessary household appliances. WE gave our daughter all that AND a playstation 4!"

Via i.imgur.com

6. "The bride is so pretty! With those big eyes, long hair, skinny figure and white skin!"

HK/Google Images

White skin - yes, you read that right.

You don't qualify as 'beautiful' unless you have long hair, ostrich-egg-like eyes and lack melanin.

And if you are a little over size 3, then guurrrl. You fat.

Because [insert history guy meme] LOGIC.

Talk about ridiculous beauty standards. Sheesh!

7. "Hey can you please take a picture of me? I have to send it to Rehana Khala for a rishta."

*goes and stands next to flowers* or *stands in a corner with no background*

*stops breathing*

*gives world's biggest fake-innocent-shy smile*

And poses for the picture.

For those of you not familiar with the term 'rishta'. It means potential wedding proposal. Most brown people are traditional and have arranged marriages. Moms and other brown aunties love suggesting rishtas.

Oh and Khala = Mom's sister

8. "It's so hot! Whoever is getting married next should get married during winter."

HK / Twitter

Yes, absolutely. Everyone will plan their weddings according to your requirements now.

9. "LOOK AT YOU ! You've grown SO much!"

Via social.rollins.edu

When they meet you/someone after a long time.

(victims are usually people who live abroad and are only in town for this one stupid wedding of two people they hardly know)

10. "The food is amazing, Junaid bhai!"

Via tumblr.com

Even though its drenched in oil and you might wake up with diarrhea the next morning

OH WELL, free food! *hoghoghog*

'bhai' = form of friendly address for a man

11. "You see that woman over there? The one with a checklist? Yeah she's only here to see Parveen’s daughter in action for her beloved son."

Via media.giphy.com

Long hair? Check.

White skin? Check.

Sucked up to me? Check.

12. "Upload the picsss, okay!"

NigaHiga/Youtube

And regardless of whether or not everyone looks nice in the pictures, ALL of the PICSSS will be uploaded on a social media platform the next day.