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The 33 Most Important Cuddling Positions

These are all the cuddles you need to know. Snug Life™, y'all.

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1. The Yin Yang

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No, it's not a perfect Yin Yang, but if formal perfection is what you're looking for, you should get out of the cuddle game and into, like, collecting stamps. There is a kind of perfection in this cuddle, but it is the kind of perfection that can only be found in the heart or whatever.

2. The Reluctant Snuggler

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Traditionally, a cuddle should be entered into with equal enthusiasm from every participant, but this is no traditional cuddle. This is a cuddle of self-discovery; a cuddle of harsh truths; a long dark cuddle of the soul.

3. The Double Plank

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This Cuddle Position is suitable for beginners, but it does involve a backward-facing nose nuzzle, so make sure you've got your nuzzling techniques down before you attempt it.

4. The "Three For The Price Of One"

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To effectively pull of this cuddle, you will need three (3) tired French bulldogs, and one (1) affable and accepting human child. Some assembly required.

5. The "Bobcat And Fawn"

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An EXTREMELY rare cuddling position that is less about the arrangement of the snugglers and more about their deep and abiding unlikeliness. Do not attempt outside of a controlled environment.

7. The Sideways Teddy

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Teddy selection is vital to pulling off a successful Sideways Teddy. You'll want a bear that is small, patient, and able to sustain a somewhat vulnerable expression for the entire cuddle duration.

16. The Full Spoon

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Another absolute classic of cuddling — this is a beginner's position, but it's a crowded field, so you'll need to innovate with it if you want to stand out. Why not try it in an armchair for added difficulty?

17. The Double Smile

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Too many cuddlers focus on what's going on with their arms and their bodies and ignore what's going on with their faces. The trick with a cuddle position like The Double Smile is to really focus on how happy it's making you and let it show. Get smug with that hug.

29. The Third Wheel

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The more affection that you put into this cuddle, the harder it is on the left-out third party. This is a devilish equation where you put in love and you get out jealousy.

32. The Pyramus And Thisbe

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Also called "The Friendly Neighbor." They can build a wall between you but your love will burst through it. Or over it. Hopefully the wall is not too tall.

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