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The 33 Most Important Cuddling Positions

These are all the cuddles you need to know. Snug Life™, y'all.

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1. The Yin Yang

No, it's not a perfect Yin Yang, but if formal perfection is what you're looking for, you should get out of the cuddle game and into, like, collecting stamps. There is a kind of perfection in this cuddle, but it is the kind of perfection that can only be found in the heart or whatever.

2. The Reluctant Snuggler

Traditionally, a cuddle should be entered into with equal enthusiasm from every participant, but this is no traditional cuddle. This is a cuddle of self-discovery; a cuddle of harsh truths; a long dark cuddle of the soul.

3. The Double Plank

This Cuddle Position is suitable for beginners, but it does involve a backward-facing nose nuzzle, so make sure you've got your nuzzling techniques down before you attempt it.

4. The "Three For The Price Of One"

To effectively pull of this cuddle, you will need three (3) tired French bulldogs, and one (1) affable and accepting human child. Some assembly required.

5. The "Bobcat And Fawn"

An EXTREMELY rare cuddling position that is less about the arrangement of the snugglers and more about their deep and abiding unlikeliness. Do not attempt outside of a controlled environment.

7. The Sideways Teddy

Teddy selection is vital to pulling off a successful Sideways Teddy. You'll want a bear that is small, patient, and able to sustain a somewhat vulnerable expression for the entire cuddle duration.

16. The Full Spoon

Another absolute classic of cuddling — this is a beginner's position, but it's a crowded field, so you'll need to innovate with it if you want to stand out. Why not try it in an armchair for added difficulty?

17. The Double Smile

Too many cuddlers focus on what's going on with their arms and their bodies and ignore what's going on with their faces. The trick with a cuddle position like The Double Smile is to really focus on how happy it's making you and let it show. Get smug with that hug.

29. The Third Wheel

The more affection that you put into this cuddle, the harder it is on the left-out third party. This is a devilish equation where you put in love and you get out jealousy.

32. The Pyramus And Thisbe

Also called "The Friendly Neighbor." They can build a wall between you but your love will burst through it. Or over it. Hopefully the wall is not too tall.

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