Quiz

BuzzFeed Staff

Celebrity

You have one chance to kiss Chris Hemsworth on the face. Choose wisely.

Can You Pick The Right Part Of Chris Hemsworth's Face To Kiss?

“Hi, I’m Chris Hemsworth,” says Chris Hemsworth. “It’s nice to meet you!” “Oh, I know who you are, Chris Hemsworth," you respond in a whisper, as you grasp his outstretched hand in yours. Pulling him towards you as if to tell him a secret, you plant a sloppy, lingering kiss on the left side of his forehead, just under his hairline. His skin tastes like sherbet and the memory of childhood summer holidays – and you greedily inhale his aroma with short, sharp intakes of breath. Pulling away from you, he makes a nervous excuse and leaves abruptly, but you know that this experience will stay with him, and that he will think about you sometimes, in idle moments.

Upper left

\- Your date with Chris Hemsworth has been going shockingly well. He took you to the zoo and you both laughed at the marmosets together; then you walked in the park and he told you that fame has left him empty, that he just wants to feel something again, that you are helping him to remember what it is to live and love and be happy. As he walks you to your doorstep, a silence falls between you. Standing on the step so that you are looking down at him, you lean forward and kiss him lightly on the forehead, then turn around and walk into your house without looking back. He stands, staring wonderingly at your closed door for a long, long, long time before leaving.

Right on the forehead

“Why do they always do this to me?” sobs Chris Hemsworth. “They treat me like I’m some kind of clown, good for nothing but their fleeting amusement. But I’m so much more than that. I am a man. I am a man of flesh and blood who craves love and warmth just like any other man.” Weeping, he folds himself into your arms and buries his head into your shoulder. You do not have time to wonder how either of you ended up here or to question why he chose you, of all people, to confide in. Instead, you caress his beautiful blonde hair and kiss the right side of his forehead while his body convulses in sobs.

Upper right

You were, to say the very least, surprised when you matched with Chris Hemsworth on Tinder, but you’ve never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth, and after exchanging a few flirty messages back and forth, you agreed to meet at a fancy restaurant not too far from your house. Hemsworth arrives a little late and you extend your hand to shake his just as he goes in for a hug. Unfortunately, you mistake this advance for an attempt at a kiss on the cheek and somehow end up awkwardly nibbling on his earlobe. You have never been so embarrassed in your life, and even learning (much later on) that he kind of liked it is not enough to prevent you from reliving this moment in horror for years to come.

Ear nibble

It’s 1 a.m. on a Friday night and you have been asleep for a couple of hours. It’s been a hard week. All of a sudden you are startled into wakefulness by a loud knocking. Frightened and sleep-addled, you jump out of bed and walk towards the door. Absurdly, you think to yourself “I hope this isn’t a murderer because I don’t want to die in these pajamas.” With a frying pan in one hand to protect yourself, you open the door a crack and are surprised to see Chris Hemsworth standing in your doorway. “C-C-Chris … Hemsworth?” you stutter. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” replies Hemsworth. “This must be the wrong address.” When you tell this story later, you are at a loss to say what came over you in this moment, but the combination of relief that this intruder intended you no harm and surprise that this intruder was Chris Hemsworth causes you to lean over and kiss him gently on the tip of his nose. He makes a flustered apology and leaves, but it is a moment that neither of you will ever forget.

On the very tip of his nose

“I love you,” says Chris Hemsworth. “Excuse me?” you say, looking up from the magazine that you’ve been idly thumbing through. “I didn’t quite catch that.” “I love you, dammit!” he shouts. “I’ve loved you since the day I laid eyes on you. Why can’t you see that?” Slowly putting the magazine back on the table, you look at him, genuine pity in your eyes, and respond. “You’re sweet,” you say, with a wistful smile, and kiss him gently on his cheek before walking out of the room, and out of his life forever.

Ever so gently, on the cheek

Your day started pretty badly. You were already in a terrible mood after fighting with your best friend, then you managed to lock yourself out of your home without your wallet or your phone. As you walked aimlessly around the block it started, at first gently, and then with increasing ferocity, to rain. You sat on a park bench watching the people scatter for their houses or cars while the rain mingled with your tears of frustration and self-pity. It was then that you noticed three things at once: One person seemed unfazed by the sudden storm. That person was walking slowly towards you. That person was Chris Hemsworth. You stood up as he reached you, smoothed back his wet hair from his forehead, and kissed him passionately on the bottom-left side of his face. To this day, you don’t know why you did this, or why it was one of the best things to ever happen to you.

Bottom left

“That man walking towards us looks just like Chris Hemsworth,” you say to your friend, who is already staring at the approaching gentleman, her mouth wide with surprise. “Um. That IS Chris Hemsworth,” she says, her eyes fixed on the handsome Australian actor as he closes the gap between you. “G’day, mate!” he says, as he reaches you. “Do you happen to know where Spring Street is?” Instead of responding, you grab his face with both hands, pull him firmly towards you, and plant a lingering, passionate kiss on his lips. “Does that answer your question?” you say, as you pull away. His wide, terrified eyes are all the answer you need.

Right on the lips

“I think we’re out of pasta sauce!” you shout, head buried in the fridge, as you push aside a worrying array of expired foods looking for anything that can be made into something resembling dinner. “Maybe we should eat out tonight, then,” responds a voice that most definitely does not belong to your roommate. Turning around slowly, you realize that you are face to face with Chris Hemsworth himself. A jar of desiccated pickles drops from your hand and smashes on the floor. “B-b-but why are you in my apartment, Chris Hemsworth?” you manage to stammer. “Because I love you,” he responds, and a smile lights up his face like the sun itself peeking over the horizon of the most beautiful view you have ever seen. He takes you in his arms and you kiss him – at first tentatively, at the corner of his lip – and then more confidently, as the world melts away around you.

Tentatively, on the side of his perfect mouth

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Can You Pick The Right Part Of Chris Hemsworth's Face To Kiss?

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