You know that thing you do where you’re always pretending to be swimming in shark-infested water and disrupting commuters during rush hour? Fucking stop it.
Awesome armbands, dude, but most normal people who regularly make-believe that they are Olympic gymnasts do so on the playground.
I know you guys are in love and everything, but I only have one day left to live, and I’d prefer not to spend it propping my broken body up against the rail next to the courtesy seats, whatever the fuck those are.
Drinking yourself into a catatonic stupor to forget the string of failures that can be loosely defined as your “life” is a ritual that should be reserved for home and family-time. People need to get through these doors right now.
- UK chancellor George Osborne says Brexit will impact the economy but Britain faces the challenge from "a position of strength."
- What Brexit can tell us about how the U.S. presidential election is going. Note: it's not the same thing as Trump.
- Thousands flooded New York City's streets to celebrate Pride on Sunday. It was a colorful party of love and acceptance.
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