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1. Says white lights are classier than colored lights. SNOWBALL TO THE FACE!
2. Insists they liked ironic ugly Christmas sweaters before they were cool. SNOWBALL TO THE FACE!
3. Makes gluten-free macaroni necklace and calls it “artisanal.” SNOWBALL TO THE FACE!
4. Has never seen the Schwarzenegger-Sinbad classic “Jingle All the Way.” SNOWBALL TO THE FACE!
Congratulations, you are now a human snow globe.
5. Wishes me Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. SNOWBALL TO THE FACE!
6. Wishes me Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays. SNOWBALL TO THE FACE!
7. Whoever invented the “sexy Santa suit.” SNOWBALL TO THE FACE!
8. Contributes coupon book of “Free Hugs” to the work gift exchange. SNOWBALL TO THE FACE!
9. Sends 5-page long holiday letter letting you know how inferior your year has been. SNOWBALL TO THE FACE!
10. Says Santa’s not real. SNOWBALL TO THE FACE!
11. Do YOU deserve a snowball to the face? Think it over carefully while watching these snowball face smashes in super slow-mo.
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