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11 Ways Shakespeare Would Tell You To F*** Off

As told by Schmidt from New Girl.

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1. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all!

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The Comedy of Errors (4.4.100)

2. This sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horseback-breaker, this huge hill of flesh!

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1 Henry IV (2.4.225-6)

3. Hang him, swaggering rascal!

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2 Henry IV (2.4.66)

4. Vile worm, thou wast o’erlook’d even in thy birth.

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The Merry Wives of Windsor (5.5.60)

5. Thou unfit for any place but hell.

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Richard III (1.2.114)

6. I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster!

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The Tempest (2.2.155)

7. You peasant swain! You whoreson malt-horse drudge!

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The Taming of the Shrew (4.1.116)

8. You are a tedious fool.

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Measure for Measure (2.1.113)

9. You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things!

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Julius Caesar (1.1.36)

10. He is deformed, crooked, old and sere, ill-faced, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere; Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind; Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.

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The Comedy of Errors (4.2.22-5)

11. You had measured how long a fool you were upon the ground.

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Cymbeline (1.2.26)

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