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11 Ways Shakespeare Would Tell You To F*** Off

As told by Schmidt from New Girl.

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1. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all!

The Comedy of Errors (4.4.100)

2. This sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this horseback-breaker, this huge hill of flesh!

1 Henry IV (2.4.225-6)

3. Hang him, swaggering rascal!

2 Henry IV (2.4.66)

4. Vile worm, thou wast o’erlook’d even in thy birth.

The Merry Wives of Windsor (5.5.60)

5. Thou unfit for any place but hell.

Richard III (1.2.114)

6. I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster!

The Tempest (2.2.155)

7. You peasant swain! You whoreson malt-horse drudge!

The Taming of the Shrew (4.1.116)

8. You are a tedious fool.

Measure for Measure (2.1.113)

9. You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things!

Julius Caesar (1.1.36)

10. He is deformed, crooked, old and sere, ill-faced, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere; Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind; Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.

The Comedy of Errors (4.2.22-5)

11. You had measured how long a fool you were upon the ground.

Cymbeline (1.2.26)

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