All couples fight, but if you've ever gotten into an argument with your significant other at a restaurant, you know it's not at all a fun time.
You know who else hates it? This guy!
That's right, waiters have to witness a ton of awkward romantic interactions at work. So when user SmashDudeBoi asked the waiters of Reddit to share the dating disasters they've witnessed, we knew we were in for some STORIES. They did not disappoint:
1. "I worked at a restaurant in San Francisco. This guy came in and ordered a vodka martini. He downed it and ordered another. Halfway through his third, he called his wife and asked for a divorce."
2.
"I used to work at a bar where 70% of the customers were on Tinder dates. There was a line of two-person booths along the wall when you first walk in, and there were two guys sitting by themselves in two different booths. This girl comes in and walks up to the first booth, says hi to the guy, and sits down. They are chatting for about five minutes when the other guy who is sitting by himself comes up to her and says, 'Hey I’m so-and-so…aren’t you so-and-so?' They all talk for like 30 seconds and she gets up and goes and sits with the other guy at the last booth. Eventually a different girl shows up for a date with the guy at the first booth."
3. "I used to be a waiter at weddings, and one weekend I had your typical bridezilla. She ended up getting hammered at the reception and slept with a groomsman in the honeymoon suite. Needless to say, her husband left her immediately."
4.
"A guy and and a girl were fondling each other at the bar I worked at when a second guy joined and they quickly separated and behaved. The three of them went off into the casino but came back for drinks a few times.
Early in the morning, the second guy came back for a shot and said he had a couple of hours to kill before his plane left. We got to chatting and he told me he had just broken up with his girlfriend because he suspected she had been having sex with his friend when he couldn't find either of them for an hour. I asked if it was the guy and girl I saw him with, he confirmed it, and I let him know he was making the right choice because they were making out at the bar before he came down. He thanked me for confirming and left me a huge tip.
An hour or so later the friend and (now ex-) girlfriend were at the bar whispering and arguing. I asked if everything was okay, and they said they were locked out of their room and couldn't find their friend who paid for the room. They tried to charge the bill to the room too but my computer showed the room was empty. They had a complete meltdown."
5. "I worked at a restaurant in Vail, Colorado. I once saw a lady throw red wine all over a guy's shirt and leave. He remained seated and continued eating his spaghetti, no fucks given."
6.
"I worked briefly as a waiter at a semi-nice restaurant. I had a couple come in for a date who I'd seen there a few times before (I think it was their regular dating place). She was very clearly sad, and was talking about how her uncle was really sick and was probably going to pass away soon. He decided to pull out the ring and pop the question anyway."
7. "A couple was at the bar I worked at during happy hour and they ordered some onion rings that were half price, he jokingly proposed with an onion ring and she started laughing and jokingly said yes. Then he busted out an actual ring...and she wasn't laughing anymore."
8.
"A guy made a reservation at our most popular table. It was by the window, very romantic, and super visible from any other part of the restaurant. He came in all dressed up and with a suitcase. Strange, but okay. A few minutes later, his date arrived. They laughed and flirted, we actually thought it was an anniversary or that he was going to propose or something the way it was going. NOPE.
Halfway through the evening, she started screaming at him. He'd broken up with her and actually packed her suitcase. Then he paid and left her there sobbing at the table alone. We got her a brownie on the house."
9. "I was a bartender for a couple on a Tinder date. They talked for about an hour until he went to the bathroom, but left his jacket on the back of his chair with his wallet and keys inside. She stole his wallet and his car. The poor schmuck refused to call the cops for an hour because 'It was going so well.'"
10.
"I worked as a waiter for years and I could not begin to count the number of arguments I saw, but one stands out. This guy must have been 50 or 60 years old and got angry with his lady. He actually threw a fit, stomped off, and was wandering around the restaurant, looking back at her and scowling. It was like a child throwing a temper tantrum, but most children aren’t usually this dramatic. It was nauseating to watch."
—imk
11. "When I was 16, my aunt was organizing a wedding buffet and hired me for the night as a waiter. I was tending to the back tables when a woman with a tiny dress and too much alcohol yelled, 'You should have married me instead! Fuck that bitch!' and ran to fight the bride, pulling her hair, throwing red wine on the white dress, and slapping her face."
12.
"One of my first jobs was working as a waiter at Applebee's. This young couple came in and I was waiting on them. From the looks they were giving each other at the start, it was pretty clear this was a date.
It came time to order and the guy got a burger and fries and specified that that would be it. The girl gave him a 'WTF?' look and he said, 'Look, I can have the burger and you can have the fries!' They didn't give each other cute looks the rest of the meal. I could tell there was not going to be another date."
13. "The worst thing that happened at my restaurant was when this guy got down on one knee to propose...just as this other guy came in and his girlfriend told him that she was leaving him for the other guy. They'd been having an affair for six months and had invited him out hoping he wouldn't make a scene. Then they left him at the table, sticking him with a $200 bill. We all pitched in to pay it and bought him a couple of drinks."
14.
"A guy got down on one knee, ready to propose. The girl jumped up and hugged and kissed him, presumably she'd said yes. About 10 minutes later, you could see the atmosphere at the table change and the couple did not look like a just-engaged couple.
While I was walking past, I heard the guy angrily telling the girl how inconsiderate she was because she knew how much he hated PDA. A while later, I walked past again and the girl was sitting alone, looking anxious. The third time I walked past, she was crying
When I asked what was wrong she said the guy decided to break up with her because of the PDA thing, and that he'd excused himself to the bathroom nearly an hour before and never came back."
— irmari01
15. "I was a waitress at IHOP when a guy and his girlfriend came in along with the girl's best friend. At one point, the girl's boyfriend and her friend both went to use the restroom. A longer-than-normal time passed and the girlfriend figured out that they were up to something. She didn't even go to the bathroom to check it out — she just knew."
16.
"A guy came in and started talking with a very confused woman who was sitting at a table. He was getting increasingly irritated and she was defensive and very confused. When he left in a huff, slamming the door on his way out, I went over to the table to check on her. Apparently, he was convinced she was his Tinder date and that she was blowing him off after seeing him in person. She was, in fact, waiting for her actual boyfriend, who arrived a short time later."
17. "I’ve seen a man come in with his girlfriend and his wife on different days and sit at the same spot of the bar. I've never said anything, but I’d say that’s a disaster in itself."
18. "As a waiter, I watched a very sweet blind date happening. All was well, lunch was served, and two draft beers were brought to the table. Unfortunately, there was a fly. The girl tried to swat it away from their table and knocked his ENTIRE beer onto his chest, lap, pants, and shoes...it was everywhere."
19.
"I was a waiter at a bakery café and a couple (man and woman) had come in on this summer day, ordered two bowls of soup, and sat down. The girl who took their order went to the back and prepared their soup for them, then brought it back out.
In the time it took for her to get the soup, the woman had taken off her flip flop, put her leg across the table, and the guy was going to town sucking on this lady's toes in the middle of the restaurant. The waitress didn't notice until she went to place the soup on the table. She stood there in shock, and the couple was oblivious to her presence. This guy was going all in, and the lady is starting to moan before they realized their soup is ready.
The rest of us were in complete shock for the rest of the shift, and that couple is no longer allowed on the premises."
20. "One night, four tourists (two couples) sat at one of my tables, and they seemed rather normal at first. They had about two drinks when I realized that the one man was ~getting busy~ with his partner under the table, using his foot."
