60 Reasons To Stay In On Saturday Night
To be or not to be. To go out or not to go out. Let me help you here...
Believe it or not, none of them is good enough for me...
57. No reason. Yes, no reason. If you really need one, keep reading.
56. You are a morning person. You will go straight to the after-hours party around 5am.
55. You are fugitive after being filmed by local TV picking up a TdG newspaper from the open box without paying the 2CHF.
54. He said he'd call (53 days ago) and you do not want to be around noise, in case he calls.
53. You've been dieting all Saturday morning and you are not skinny yet.
52. You have a Saturday afternoon hot date.
51. You prefer challenges. The hard way, than easy options. Having a blast on Sunday night in Geneva, NOW that's a challenge for your caliber.
50. Saturday night outings for you are what Gucci sales are for Madonna. Simply, not for you.
49. Because bad boys go to hell and bad girls go everywhere. And you have already been. Everywhere.
48. That cheap flight to London was all booked up.
47. You need to catch up with my 17 last super interesting posts about where to have a fun Saturday night.
46. It is just embarrassing being stuck at level 342 on Candy Crash for the past 2 years. You will finally spend that 1CHF and practice all night.
45. You are a social smoker and smoking is bad for you. And the people around you.
44. You have missed church 2 Sundays in a row already.
43. How long can you postpone rearranging that messy closet?
42. You were planning to wear a cape and that Madonna incident kinda put you off.
41. You just got your first smartphone, you downloaded all 500 free apps and it takes you 5 minutes only to locate your email on your screen. Girl, you have work to do…
40. That 200CHF for dinner and drinks can go towards a good cause: a spa treatment earlier that day.
39. You have a lot of ironing to do and this is the perfect time to do it in order to feel your depression to the fullest.
38. You are giving birth any day now. Plus you cannot drink anyway…
37. Thanx to the open-space at work you developed excellent team player skills and an extreme case of clinical agoraphobia.
36. There is a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday morning, as Jimmy Buffet once said, and you just cannot walk a straight line, when stopped by macho policemen driving your uninsured Twingo.
35. For once you want people to talk about you, wondering where you are, since going out for the last 17'321 Saturdays have made you part of the club's furniture in people's minds.
34. There is this super intriguing discussion on TV5 about the life rats in metropolitan areas.
33. It is the best time to bid low on ebay, since everybody else is out and about, for the items, you do not need, that are about to expire,.
32. You do not believe in networking and brown nosing at the work environment, so you are polishing this presentation that your boss will give (pretending it is his own) and thus someday consider you for a promotion. You still find the time to "Like" his picture with your main competitor for that promotion, both dancing on a Java table.
31. Saturday night goers sleep around. Why sleep… around? Home, sweet home.
30. You make a living by completing surveys and this screwdriver company sent you a 39-pages questionnaire with a deadline that is coming up.
29. Your obsessive personality obliges you to finish knitting that colorful scarf you will never dare to wear in public.
28. You are 40 years old, single, broke and exhausted, still not having figured out your purpose in life. Who's gonna do it for you? Me? You! When? During office hours?
27. It is your turn to bake the cupcakes for your 4-year-old's Sunday playdate. Who wants to disappoint 37 hungry little angels?
26. You need to come up with a title for your new book about… nothing.
25. You promised God you would not go out this Saturday if you win Wednesday's lottery. Time to pay back the big girl (yes, God is a woman, see the proof here) for these 7CHF you won.
24. It's your nanny's turn to go out this Saturday night. Be fair.
23. You are a nanny.
22. Your ex is in town.
21. Your ex is NOT in town.
20. Your friends are going to a Karaoke bar and by now they are convinced that your throat infection is over after 3.5 years. Your turn to sing…
19. You do have a throat infection. It is infectious. Pls spare us. We CAN and want to sing!
18. Who's going to repost all these hilarious make-up and hairdo videos from youtube?
17. Plus who's going to "Like" every single post of all of us having fun somewhere downtown?
16. The snuggie you ordered finally arrived this morning.
15. You are the only single left among your friends and you stopped enjoying the "We" discussions and the baby stories around 5 Saturday dinners ago.
14. You ate too much over lunch and it is too obvious for any fitted garments. All-you-can-eat restaurants are just not for you.
13. That book from your Religious Cult Book Club will not read itself and you have already exhausted all possible excuses during the last 11 sessions.
12. You have nobody to go out anymore, since you were the only one seeing #TheDress as black and blue. #DressGate sealed the end of your social life. Period.
11. You post too much on social media after your favorite drink (the 5th one) and everybody knows and has seen your business when you show up in the office on Monday.
10. Showing up with dark circles and still drunk at your boss's brunch will not advance your career as much as that guy from the AA meeting promised you.
9. You are not ready yet. Trust me. You need another 2 weeks before all the stitches are removed from your last attempt to have Kim's lips, Paris eyes and Gisele's nose.
8. Your mom finally convinced you about sinners looking for trouble go out on Saturday night. Unfortunately you are allergic to extreme heat and men with corns. Hell just isn't for you.
7. Your bum still hurts from that innocent but still painful snowboard accident.
6. You are throwing a party at your place. Remember?
5. You still have a hangover from Friday night.
4. You have to start watching the 200 DVDs you bought from me supporting the education of women.
3. You will look at your smartphone all night long anyway, no matter where you are.
2. You read this post on Friday and you burst into tears, ticking about half of these non-sense reasons.
1. Finally…it is Geneva!
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