The 16 Most Absurd Things About Living In San Francisco

Some are absurdly good, some are absurdly bad

1. $4 Toast is a Real Thing

Shikha La Mode / Via shikhalamode.com

And, maybe even worse, it inspires lengthy diatribes. Find your $4 toast at Jane or Green Heart Foods (among others).

2. Buying Bras from One of the First "Surgically Enhanced" Topless Dancers

Yelp / Via yelp.com

According to Wikipedia, "[Carol] Doda made international news, first by dancing topless at the city's Condor Club, then by enhancing her bust from size 34 to 44 through silicone injections." She now runs Champagne and Lace, a lingerie boutique on Union. I mean, if you have to buy a bra, you might as well go to an expert.

3. MUNI

The Richmond District of San Francisco / Via richmondsfblog.com

The way the bus wheezes up and down hills sounds like what I imagine a dementor sounds like when it's sucking out souls. Plus: unreliable, convoluted routes, and smelly.

4. The Independent Bookstores

Teresa C. Garcia / Via teresacgarcia.wordpress.com

From Dog Eared Books in the Mission to Browser Books in Pac Heights to City Lights in North Beach, there is nothing better than getting lost in the diverse selections at these local booksellers.

5. "So, My Company Just Got Acquired..."

Teen / Via teen.com

Still not interested, bro.

6. The Marina in General

Twitter / Via Twitter: @diamondsofthe30

For example: this Twitter feed documents the engagement rings of passengers on the 30x bus from the Marina to the Financial District. Unclear: whether or not the affianced are aware they're being photographed.

7. The Distinct Neighborhoods

The Bold Italic / Via thebolditalic.com

Every neighborhood in San Francisco has a distinct character to it, from the hipster Mission District to the fratastic Marina (see above) to the famously counter-culture Haight-Ashbury to the LGBTQ-friendly Castro. Getting out of your comfort zone and exploring the city's micro-cultures is both rewarding and relatively easy.

8. The Food

Serious Eats / Via slice.seriouseats.com

Whether you're in the mood for upscale dining or a food truck picnic, French or Mexican, slow or fast, there is an abundance of great food in San Francisco. Benefitting from the wealth of fresh produce available to Californians, San Franciscans take their food seriously. Where else can you find restaurants like Flour + Water (famous for turning away Steve Jobs because he didn't have a reservation), the American Grilled Cheese Kitchen, and San Jalisco all on the same street? While it may take a while to get a table ANYWHERE on a weekend night, the wait has never not been worth it.

9. The Hills

Park Me / Via blog.parkme.com

...make walking to brunch on Sunday way more painful. Can't. Breathe.

(To be fair, though, the hills make working off brunch much easier.)

10. Watching a Former Classmate's Startup Crash and Burn

The Richest / Via therichest.com

C'est la vie?

11. Crazy Weekends

Men's Journal / Via mensjournal.com

A few weekends a year, San Francisco transforms into an all-city party: Santa Con, Bay to Breakers, Pride, Outside Lands, Burning Man (sure, it's technically held in Nevada, but I think it counts as an extension of San Francisco). The general energy in the city is always even more free-spirited, infectious, and life-affirming than usual. Careful, though, you will definitely see at least two naked people during any of these weekends (actually, you'll probably see at least two naked people on any weekend in San Francisco, city-wide party or not).

12. Rent

Business Insider / Via businessinsider.com

A one-bedroom apartment costs more than a two-bedroom house in Cleveland ("For God's sake, Lemon, we'd all like to flee to the Cleve..."). A room in a month-to-month hotel costs more than my boyfriend's college rent.

13. Being Guinea Pigs for a Ton of Make-Life-More-Convenient Startups

Valleywag / Via valleywag.gawker.com

A ton of companies looking to make life more convenient (for yuppies) launch in San Francisco and are exclusive to the city until they get more funding. Who am I kidding, though? BloomThat, The Munchery, and Caviar are all in regular rotation (to say nothing of Uber).

14. Fogust

Travel and Tour World / Via travelandtourworld.com

It is incredibly disorienting to go from wearing sundresses in July to fur coats in August and then back again in September. Screw you, Karl.

15. Suddenly Defining the Zeitgeist

Uproxx / Via uproxx.com

When HBO makes a show (or two) about you, you know you've made it. Somehow, there's no cooler place to live and work right now than San Francisco.

16. The Extreme Poverty That Throws the Petty Nuisances, and Even the Great Joys, of Living in San Francisco Into Sharp Relief

United Way of the Bay Area / Via uwba.org

Check out SF Results and United Way of the Bay Area for examples of how you can get involved in making San Francisco a better place for everyone.