"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." It's the serenity prayer and I first heard it on India Arie's album Testimony. It's one of those things that makes all the sense in the world, but it's still such a hard thing to master — especially if you're a control freak like me. Have you ever had a moment where there's something going wrong in every single aspect of your life? Personal and professional? Yea, so that's where I've been the last couple of months, and up until recently I was four, five seconds from pulling my actual hair out. I cried, I stopped eating (I lose my appetite when I'm stressed), I yelled, I complained. I did all of that because I felt defeated, mostly over situations that I had absolutely no control over. I kept trying to change said situations, but I literally couldn't because I didn't have the power to.
This adult tantrum went on for about three months until I finally decided I was tired of being sick, physically and mentally, over things I could do nothing about. And by not realizing that and instead shifting my energy and focus to things I could do something about, I was sabotaging my health, my professional development, my personal relationships, my finances (because I online shop HEAVY when I'm sad), and probably other things that I didn't even realize I was sabotaging. Because this is something that I so easily forget, I had to write myself a reminder note, "Don't sabotage your success today," and stick it to my wall. And that's common sense, but in the words of every wise old southerner, common sis ain't common. I read it every morning, and it's a way to keep myself accountable for making choices that benefit me. One of those choices is accepting what I don't have control over and focusing all of my time and energy into the things that I do have control over.
This has also reignited my creativity because when you can't control something that affects you, you're forced to find a workaround. If it's a dead end relationship, you're forced to exit and put yourself back out there (or just chill and grow alone first, which I highly recommend). If it's a family member that's draining your time and/or money without putting in the work to help themselves, you're forced to stop enabling them and love them from a distance. If it's a job that's toxic or simply no longer fulfilling you, you're forced to work on your own projects or search for something new. Whatever it is, you're forced to tap into other strengths, talents, and skills because your wellness literally depends on it. So this is where I'm at now. Accepting things I can't change, and finding workarounds to build the life I want.