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Posted on Oct 25, 2017

19 Crimes Committed Against Kids By Petty Parents Who Gave Zero Fucks

Me as a parent, tbh.

We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to share the times when their parents were ridiculously petty, and these stories honestly just prove that adults are hilariously childish AF.

1. Fish sticks: / Via

"Once my mom wanted me to watch a movie with her, but it was 10:30 on a school night so I told her I was going to bed. She then threatened to serve fish sticks to my friends, who she knew were vegetarian, at my sleepover the next night." —zoed444fc0314

2. These daughters ain't loyal:

"My mom once deleted my sister and me off of Facebook because we wished our dad a Happy New Year before her." —kelsym47100fea8

3. To: Me, From: Mom (and me):

"The family next to me moved away but still wanted their kids to go to the same school until Christmas. They asked me to watch them on days that their dad couldn't get to the bus stop in time. I made like $250 helping them out, so I gave the cash to my mom to order me an expensive American Girl doll. But I forgot about it, so she wrapped it up for me to open on Christmas Day." —Emily Gabrielle, Facebook

4. Petty mother banana:

"When I was 18, I find out I had developed a banana allergy. Now whenever my mother gets mad at me she says "banana" in place of swear words. For instance, 'banana off!' and 'mother banana!'. And my personal favorite, 'Oh, eat banana!'" —dchim22

5. Rottweiler vs. bunny:

Warner Brothers / Via

"My parents forgot Easter and then wrote a fake note from the Easter bunny saying that my stuffed Rottweiler toy scared him away." —pattimcchesneyl

6. Four flats:

"I was caught sneaking back into the house one Saturday, and to my surprise, my parents weren't even upset. No yelling. No punishment. Until I woke up the next and went to get in my car and noticed my dad had let the air out of all four tires. He sat the air compressor next to my car knowing I didn't know how to operate it." —michellep41befc93e

7. The (Arts and) Craft:

"I moved home at 21 after a particularly bad breakup. My parents were 'happy' to have me home and turned their downstairs kitchenette into a bedroom for me, complete with a mattress and box spring where the fridge used to be, curtains between my 'room' and living room to give me privacy, and a mini TV/VCR combo. It was a six bedroom house, but the craft room was already established." —lizaj4265ed11c

8. God's gift:

"One Christmas when I was in high school, there was a present under the tree and the gift tag read, 'To: Angela, From: God.' I opened it up and it was a magnet made from Scrabble tiles that spelled out 'BNICE.' My parents thought it was the funniest thing in the world. They still have that damn magnet." —angelam402948569

9. Blocked:

"My parents would ground me from my phone by putting on parental locks so I could only call them, and they'd block the internet and app store so I couldn't access Facebook or download apps to text my friends." —jcb3262

10. No direction:

"My mom sold my One Direction concert tickets back in like 2013 just because me and my brother were fighting." —allyk4d3567ca7

11. And redirection:

"When I was a teenager, my dad used to install programs that would lock me out of the computer after a certain amount of time. He eventually gave up because I kept getting around them and gave into the fact that I needed to use the computer for school work. So instead any time I tried to use My Space, I was redirected to" —juliee42c1d8b67

12. On a roll:

"My dad decided my two sisters and I were 'going through too much toilet paper,' so he gave us each a roll with our initials on it and we had to make it last a certain amount of days. If we ran out before the allocated time, we had to owe squares from our next roll." —jasminew41577d6c7

13. Open door policy:

"My dad got so tired of my brother locking his bedroom door that he actually took the whole door off the frame. He was not playing around." —rachaelh4463f4cfa

14. Foil plates:

"My mama got sick of us not helping with the dishes, so she took all of the plates, bowls and silverware away. We had to get creative and make eating utensils out of foil or steal some from other family members' houses." —angelicacc

15. The Tamborine (Wo)man:

"The first time I had a hangover, my mom gave my toddler sister (yes, major age gap) a tambourine for the first time." —j4ee233311

16. Valuable lessons:

"If I didn’t put my shoes away my mom would take them, hide them, and make me pay to get them back." —alliec41a11a1d8

17. Sampler platter:

"I was lounging around the house looking for something to do when my mom asked if I wanted to go with her to Costco and shop and get some lunch. When we got there, my mom just took me around to all the free samples." —adaira

18. Text undelivered:

"If I got in trouble, instead of taking my phone away, my mom would go online and turn the service off for just MY phone. She would then wager bets with my dad to see how long it would take for me to notice none of my texts were going through." —anneo42f4e5e98

19. Love don't live here anymore:

"My mom sold my bed the week after I left for college and turned my room into a massive laundry room. Bins, ironing board, luggage prep area for vacations. I WAS GONE A WEEK!" —christineantoinetter

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