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    Posted on Apr 17, 2014

    42 Nomi-Malone-Iest Nomi Malone Moments From "Showgirls" (NSFW)

    Inside, aren't we all just a little bit of a hyper-aggressive ass-kicker? Great movie or GREATEST movie?

    THAT TIME SHE: Immediately pulled a knife on the guy who just picked her up hitchhiking.

    Via United Artists

    JEFF: You can sit a little bit closer if you want.

    NOMI: ...(switchblade!)

    THAT TIME SHE: Snatched at Jeff's money without saying thank you.

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    JEFF: Wanna play a slot machine? Here's ten bucks. You win? We split it up. No holding out on me either.

    NOMI: ...(snatch!)

    THAT TIME SHE: Squealed over her first slot machine payout.

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    NOMI: (happily bounces quarters, spills them everywhere)

    CASINO ATTENDENT: (confused smile)

    THAT TIME SHE: Attacked and then barfed on Molly's car.

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    NOMI: (beats car with fists) Fuck!

    MOLLY: Hey! That's my car!

    NOMI: Fuck--rraah--ahh--fucker! (barfs)

    THAT TIME SHE: Angrily wasted perfectly good french fries that she didn't even pay for.

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    MOLLY: Where are you from?

    NOMI: (annoyed sigh) Back east.

    MOLLY: From where back east?

    NOMI: (tosses fries) Different places!

    THAT TIME SHE: Was giddy over her latest nail art.

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    NOMI: Check it out!

    MOLLY: Wow, they're great!

    NAILS: (sparkle sparkle!)

    THAT TIME SHE: Was forced to apologize.

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    MOLLY: Hey! Nomi! I work here, okay? I need my paycheck. I do not want her to be pissed at me.

    NOMI: I'M SORRY! (slams car)

    THAT TIME SHE: Mimicked Cristal's Showgirl Jazzhands™.

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    CRISTAL: (Showgirl Jazzhands™)

    NOMI: (Showgirl Jazzhands™)

    THAT TIME SHE: Danced like a lunatic at the night club.

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    GUY: (grinning, impressed) She can dance, can't she?

    JAMES: Yeah, she thinks she can!

    NOMI: (flails arms wildly)

    THAT TIME SHE: Kneed James in the balls for critiquing her dance moves.

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    JAMES: You got potential, though. I could teach you.

    NOMI: Yeah?

    JAMES: Yeah!

    NOMI: (smiling) :D (crotched!)

    THAT TIME SHE: Enthusiastically beat Mama's trapdoor boustier into working again.

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    MAMA: Come on! Harder! Harder!

    NOMI: (thwap!)

    MAMA & NOMI: Yeaaaaah!

    THAT TIME SHE: Licked the stripper pole.

    Via United Artists

    NOMI: (ignores all reasonable common sense)

    THAT TIME SHE: Gave Zack a really aggressive lap dance.

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    ZACK: ...!

    THAT TIME SHE: Flopped like a dying fish on Zack's lap, and it was weird.

    Via United Artist

    NOMI: (flails wildly)

    THAT TIME SHE: Again snatched money without again saying thank you.

    Via United Artists

    CRISTAL: (holds up money)

    NOMI: ...(snatch!)

    THAT TIME SHE: Got super excited because Molly got an A in class.

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    MOLLY: I got an A!

    NOMI: Yay! (kiss)

    MOLLY: Four more classes and they're going to have to give me that degree!

    NOMI & MOLLY: Ah! (runs, squealing)

    THAT TIME SHE: Tapdanced in Versace while being weirdly rude to a salesperson.

    Via United Artists

    SALESWOMAN: It looks quite good on you.

    NOMI: It doesn't suck! (gleeful dance)

    THAT TIME SHE: Performed a tandem whiplash pole dance with Penny.

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    NOMI: (thrash!)

    PENNY: (thrash!)

    THAT TIME SHE: Got adorably ecstatic about landing an audition.

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    NOMI: I got it! I got-- AN AUDITION! Ha ha! (slaps face, high-pitched squealing noise)

    THAT TIME SHE: Gave Tony a death glare and slapped ice cubes out of his hands.

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    TONY: Play with them a little bit. Pinch 'em a little. You want me to do it for ya? I'll do it. I'm erect. Why aren't you erect? Here, put some ice on them.

    NOMI: ...(angry slap!)

    THAT TIME SHE: Littered for no reason.

    Via United Artists

    JAMES: Where're you from?

    NOMI: Different places! (hurls garbage out of convertible, smiling)

    THAT TIME SHE: Performed a subtle dance for James.

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    JAMES: (pained expression)

    THAT TIME SHE: Gave James a period lap dance.

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    NOMI: (slaps) I have my period.

    JAMES: Yeah, right.

    NOMI: Check.

    JAMES: (checks) ...(slowly retreats)

    NOMI: (smiles)

    THAT TIME SHE: Said "Ver-sayce."

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    TONY: Nice dress.

    NOMI: Thanks! I bought it at Ver-sayce.

    THAT TIME SHE: Thrusted it.

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    NOMI: (thrusts it)

    THAT TIME SHE: And Cristal talked about eating dog food and then high-fived with tortilla chips.

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    CRISTAL: I've had dog food.

    NOMI: You have?

    CRISTAL: Mm-hm. A long time ago. (reminisces) ...Doggy Chow. I used to love Doggy Chow.

    NOMI: I used to love Doggy Chow, too!

    CRISTAL & NOMI: (high fives with little tortilla chips)

    THAT TIME SHE: Called Cristal a bitch.

    Via United Artists

    CRISTAL: See, darlin'? You are a whore.

    NOMI: BITCH! (stalks off, topless)

    THAT TIME SHE: Received an odd compliment.

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    AL: It must be weird... not having anybody cum on ya.

    THAT TIME SHE: Watched Zack strut his naked ass to the pool.

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    ZACK'S BUTT: (swish!)

    THAT TIME SHE: Had awkward, uncomfortable pool sex.

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    ZACK (strains)

    NOMI: (flails, lifeless)

    THAT TIME SHE: And Cristal made sex-eyes at each other while talking about nail art.

    Via United Artists

    NOMI & CRISTAL: (eyefucking)

    THAT TIME SHE: Ate a cheeseburger on the casino roof.

    Via United Artists

    NOMI: (slowly eats contemplative cheeseburger)

    THAT TIME SHE: Shoved Cristal down the stairs.

    Via United Artists

    NOMI: (shoves!)

    CRISTAL: Ah! Uhn! Aw! Unnnn! (splat)

    THAT TIME SHE: Couldn't help grinning to herself as Cristal's ambulance sped away.

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    NOMI: What's the matter?

    MOLLY: (eyeing Nomi suspiciously) ...Nothing.

    NOMI: (grins at ambulance, delighted)

    THAT TIME SHE: Made a grand entrance.

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    ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen! The Stardust proudly presents Miss Nomi Malone!

    NOMI: (explodes, naked, out of a glitter volcano)

    THAT TIME SHE: Completely crusted herself in face sequins and glitter hair gel.

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    NOMI: (sparkles)

    THAT TIME SHE: Hocked a loogie in Zack's face, while smiling.

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    ZACK: Tell me something. What did you charge? Hooking?

    NOMI: Fifty. A hundred, sometimes.

    ZACK You got low self-esteem, baby. You're a fantastic fuck.

    NOMI: (smiles) ...(spits!)

    THAT TIME SHE: Painted revenge nails.

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    REVENGE NAILS: (sparkles ominously)

    THAT TIME SHE: Painted her nipples bright red for some reason.

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    ANDREW: I like you better topless.

    NOMI: Wait 'til you see me bottomless.

    ANDREW: I'm waiting.


    THAT TIME SHE: Pulled a switchblade on Andrew, then kicked him in the face repeatedly.

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    NOMI: (whips out knife!) You make a sound, I'll fucking kill you!

    ANDREW: Okay! Okay! Okay!

    NOMI: (roundhouse kicks Andrew in the face)

    THAT TIME SHE: Kept stomping Andrew's head even after he was completely incapacitated.

    Via United Artists

    NOMI: Ah! AH! AHHH! YRRAH! FUCKER! FUCK OFF! (stomp stomp stomp)

    ANDREW: (is now fruit salad)

    THAT TIME SHE: Kissed Cristal with tongues before leaving town forever.

    Via United Artists

    NOMI: I gotta go.

    CRISTAL: I want you to come here and give me a big kiss.

    NOMI & CRISTAL: (make out slowly)

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