It's all our parents fault. It is. They taught us these strange, strange habits as we were growing up, or, they at least didn't chastise us enough saying "No child! That's a terribly odd thing to do. What on earth would make you think of such a terrifying and disgusting creation". OR. They deprived us so heavily of the things that we craved so furiously that as soon as we got a sweet taste of freedom we clung onto it, embraced it and dived into a whole sea of weird. So yes, it's our parents fault.
I vividly remember in my first week of Uni feeling young, vulnerable and exhilarated all at once. I'd eaten pizza three nights in a row and couldn't tell you the last time I saw, let alone consumed a vegetable. I was a rebel without a cause, a whole array of foods open to me that Mother had told me (correctly) would be bad for me. Screw that, I'd eat all the Ricicles I want god dammit! However, I was craving a slice of home, a bit of comfort on my fourth day of determinedly destroying my liver like every good fresher does. So I grabbed one of the teacakes (not bread rolls anyone from Sheffield, as in actual teacakes. With raisins in) my mother had sent me off with, toasted it and grated some cheese onto it. Put it together like a sandwich, ate it…..and realised all my housemates were staring at me like I was a creature from Mars
"You just put…. cheese… on a teacake" one of them stammered
"Yea. Don't you?" It was then I realised. I'm weird. I'm really really weird and all the food things I thought were normal were lies. For years I'd pronounced hummus wrong, put cheese on teacakes and not eaten a roast on a Sunday and thought this was perfectly normal.
As the years have gone on I've learnt to somehow forgive my parents for leading me so astray and developed new food quirks. For example, I have an overwhelming fear of orange pith, eat peanut butter and marmite on the same slice of toast and think hummus on crumpets is a banging idea.
So, I opened it up to the great and good of Facebook to share with me their quirks and by gum they didn't let me down. Weirdos everywhere stuck their flag in the sand and shared their quirks. One foodie friend bared his soul for all to see in sharing his overwhelming hatred of cucumber and one bloke friend threw his wife under the bus by revealing her rather strange habit of eating frozen peas. Yes love that is a strange thing to do. Sorry.
Here's a few of the top out-there treats:
Sausage tartar – Who doesn't love munching on raw pork
The pastry rules – Volovants are totally ok, however samosa pastry is a no no. Choux is also allowed however don't put a pie in front of this lovely lady, the pastry WILL be left
Choc 'n' Cheese – Chocolate milkshake. Check. Chunk of cheddar. Check. Interchange bites of both to complete all your dairy, heart attack inducing, dreams
Crunchy Treat – Who doesn't love a good bowl of al dente pasta. Infact, why even bother cooking it at all!? Snack away
Cheese gate – I was taught a new way to eat nachos yesterday but one gorgeous girlie. With a knife and fork!!! Who wants to touch all that nasty cheese anyway
Skin on – A standing ovation for the man who openly admits he the skin of a kiwi. Who stayed strong when all around him called him insane and gross and vile and crazy. Keep eating that kiwi skin I say
Banana Bonanza – Bananas are great. Bacon is great. Why not combine the two!? Finishing it off with some sweet chilli sauce. Perfect, right? Wrong
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