This post has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can create a post or quiz. Try making your own!
1. Basically - the play opens with the ghost of King Hamlet appearing before some young royalty hanging outside of a castle. The ghost does not speak to them.
2. Fast forward...hardly a month after King Hamlet’s death - Prince Hamlet (Harry Styles) is in all black and depressed but the town is in color. Everyone is stoked because, Prince Hamlet's mom, Gertrude is marrying his UNCLE, Claudius (very Jerry Springer!)
3. Hamlet is pisssssed - rightfully so, what is this? He makes some foul comments, feels sorry for himself and unfortunately has some suicidal thoughts.
4. Hamlet’s BFF, Horatio, is like “yo bro, I saw some crazy ass ghosts, and ghosts usually foresee disasters -- we gotta figure out what they’re trying to say!”
5. Laertes, heads back to college and says peace out to his own sister, Ophelia who warns her of her love for Hamlet. Tells her she can't marry for love - even if he loves her. He warns Ophelia that she better watch out.
6. Then Polonius keeps running his mouth to Ophelia, but this time about Hamlet -- he’s all concerned that Hamlet will do anything to seduce a girl (well...he totally would). He forbids Opheila from seeing Hamlet and makes her send back all the gifts.
7. Hamlet, Horatio, and the guards wait on the walls of Elsinore for the ghost to reappear. All are nervous - especially Hamlet.
8. A ghost appears and double dog dares Hamlet to climb to the most dangerous part of the wall - and Horatio and guards are like whoa, bro, no dont do it - because they think the ghost may be a demon, but Hamlet follows.
9. The ghost tells Hamlet that his OWN UNCLE CLAUDIUS MURDERED HIS DADDY; King Hamlet, AND seduced Gertrude to marry him. Hamlet freaks out, and feels he must seek revenge for his own father’s murder - the ghost disappears.
10. Complexed by this news - he tells his buddies the news ands swears them to secrecy.
11. Hamlet is so distraught. He's un-showered, his clothing is messy and everyone is concerned.
12. Concerned, Claudius bribes two of Hamlets’ college bros Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, to check on Hamlet.
13. Polonius has a big mouth and announces to everyone, that he has figured out why Hamlet’s acting strange. He’s in love…he even busts out one of Opheila’s love letters from Hamelt and reads it in front of everyone, not cool.
14. At this point Polonius tries to get Hamlet to admit he’s feelin’ Ophelia, but Hamlet starts speaking a bunch of gibberish that totally confuses Polonius.
15. Then Rosencrantz and Guildenstern try to step up their game to get some answers - no luck.
16. Two dudes come strolling to town - one begins a speech that Hamlet really digs - and Hamlet asks them to perform a play.
17. A lightbulb goes off and Hamlet does a happy dance. Hamlet wants to host a play that will test Claudius - if he reacts with passion - he’s guilty of his father's’ murder, if he doesn’t then the ghost he encountered is straight up lying!
18. Now it gets complex. Polonius puts Opheila right in the hall to meet Hamlet while both he and Claudius listen from behind the play curtains. Lightbulb! Hamlet realizes its a setup. He threatens Claudius and hides Ophelia.
19. Pissed off, Claudius decides to send Hamlet away to England. Polonius says that Gertrude might be able to get what Ophelia failed on.
20. Hamlet is an ass to all the actors and tells them how to act, and is extremely bogus to Ophelia. Ophelia is so confused by his outrageous behavior.
21. The play begins - the actors act out the King being murdered the same way King Hamlet was. The Queen cries, and Gertrude watches all calm and unaffected.
22. Ha! But, not Claudius! He gets up and peaces out before the play is over. He knows that Hamlet knows his fathers death was a murder, how it was done and who “Done it!” And shit, Hamlet better watch out, he is now in real danger with Claudius.
23. Hamlet is delighted at how his plan worked. He now knows that Claudius is guilty and the ghost was real. Again he warns Rosencrantz and Guildenstern that they can't manipulate him. Although he sees through Polonius fawning, he agrees to visit Gertrude.
24. Hamlets plan, worked, SCORE! He knows Claudius is guilty and the ghost was for real.
25. Claudius tries to pray. Hamlet sees him alone and unguarded - and wants to kill him. Since he is praying, figured he will go to heaven if he kills him. Logically, he tip toes around him.
26. Polonius hides in Gertrude's room behind some curtain. Sneaky Hamlet gets angry at Gertrude. Hamlet hears a voice, thinks its someone else, and stabs right through the curtain, and kills Polonius, which brings Gertrude to her knees.
27.
28. Hamlet gets arrested - and is rude to Claudius, but Claudius doesn’t give him the time of day. Claudius breaks his own land’s laws and send Hamlet away to England.
29. Hamlet meets Fortibras, a captain in the army, and wonders why he should worry about killing only one man?
30. Back home - Ophelia has gone bat shit crazy. The man she loves rejected her not only privately but publicly and killed her DAD! She wanders around like some animated Disney movie and sings about dead men and faithless past loves.
31. Laertes bursts into town and demands to know what happened to his father and why Hamlet hasn't been punished. Now Laetes wants revenge.
32. Sailors end up bringing Horatio a letter that informs him that Hamlet has been captured by pirates - but Hamlet is secretly on his way home to Denmark.
33.
34. Hamlet and Horatio catch two gravediggers digging up a space for Ophelia’s grave.
35. Hamlet totally doesn't know Ophelia is dead - but learns after he spies on the funeral. Watching Laertes cry over Ophelia, Hamlet can't take it anymore, and jumps in and begins to FIGHT Laetres.
36. Hamlet then tells Horatio he has stolen the letters Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were carrying - that were instructions to kill him - and replaced it with a letter to “execute bearers”.
37. Horatio is all worried that Claudius may plant another plot. Hamlet basically has the YOLO attitude -- and is ready for a battle.
38. Before the battle begins - Claudius drops poison into a goblet of wine as a toast to Hamlet. Hamlet smiles and says sorry for his behavior - and Laetes begins to have second thoughts.
39. Gertrude, thirsty & stoked that Hamlet wins the first two touches of the sword, sips the poisoned wine. Claudius does not stop her.
40. Laertes is shocked that the King would let Gertrude drink the poisoned wine. He stabs Hamlet with the poisoned sword, but then swords are exchanged and he is stabbed too!
41. Gertrude yells - Yo! The wine is poisoned. Claudius denies it -
42. Hamlet sees: poisoned wine...poisoned sword...and forces the rest of the wine down Claudius’ throat and stabs him with the sword.
43. Realizing he is dying, Hamlet forgives Laertes (because he has been stabbed closer to the heart, dies first). He gives the kingdom to Fortinbras. Hamlet then dies.
44. Fortinbras returns from war, and comes home to a castle full of dead bodies. He is pissed Hamlet is dead, and thinks he would have been a great ruler. A state funeral is held for Hamlet. The End.
Share This Article
