Buzz·Posted on May 17, 201323 Ways Your Overprotective Parents Traumatized YouI have exactly five locks on my door. And I'd like to get a few more.by Erin La RosaBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. Halloween candy is filled with poisoned razorblades. kmot.com 2. You're still wary of any and all panel vans. wayoftheplayer.com THEY WILL KIDNAP YOU! 3. You're a total germaphobe. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF jennernation.tumblr.com 4. Sports are dangerous and you will lose an eye if you try to play them. world-insights.com 5. In general, intersections are a death trap. queenstribune.com 6. Staying out late is NOT an option. trollingfunny.tumblr.com 7. Everyone is trying to steal your bag at all times. drexel.edu So now you only hold your bag one way: in your hands. 8. You ALWAYS WEAR A HELMET, because if you don't you'll die. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF ilolsohard.com 9. Seemingly "minor" problems ARE ACTUALLY A HUGE DEAL and should be treated as such. imgur.com 10. Your pepper spray is always in the "ready" position. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF vis-ma-vie-dans-les-transports.tumblr.com You never know when you'll have to spritz someone in the face. 11. You lie to your diary, because your parents are absolutely going to read it. fanpop.com 12. You don't use public bathrooms, because rapists go in them. dailyfailcenter.com 13. You got your ears pierced late in life. feminspire.com Like, maybe even after you moved out of the house. Because piercing your ears is basically agreeing to all kinds of diseases. indymedia.org.uk 14. You believe that getting a tattoo will destroy any chance at a happy future. kgw.com 15. You're still paranoid about getting pregnant. lulztruck.com 16. And you never drive over the speed limit, because THE ROAD IS A SCARY PLACE. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF gifday.com 17. Pool drains will suck you down into hell. azclearchoice.com 18. Slow dancing makes you anxious, because your parents were always chaperoning the school dances. wordpress.com 19. GEESE ARE KILLING MACHINES AND NOT TO BE TRUSTED. ofcourseimright.com 20. You think anyone who walks to school will get killed, because your parents always drove you. tampabay.com 21. You overly sympathize with dogs, because, well, you know... kidsonaleash.com 22. You only talk to strangers if you want to be chased down a dark alley. View this video on YouTube 23. And this is what the lock on your door looks like. captainpainway.com You'd actually like to get one or two more of em.