23 Things Only Pale People Will Understand
FACT: I can't get a tan even if I tried. Now can you please rub this SPF on my back?
Flash photography is a problem, in general.
When someone says, "You really need to get a tan," you have to stop yourself from throwing massive shade.
Or if they ask why you're so pale, you've learned that snark is the best policy.
You know that while a fake tan might look normal on most people, it's just never gonna work for you.
The words pale or pasty make you want to die a little.
You know that wearing anything black will make you look unintentionally goth.
And that sometimes it's hard to see where your skin ends and the white clothing begins.
You know that getting a tan is never going to be a thing that happens to you.
The struggle to find a makeup that matches your skin tone is REAL.
And you end up buying something in the "porcelain" and/or "ivory" family.
The larger the hat, the better.
Because the sun and you are basically frenemies.
It sometimes feels like you're single-handedly supporting the sunscreen industry.
Even though you have a love/hate relationship with sunscreen. In that you hate having to shellack it on...
But know that it's a necessary evil.
Because you don't need much time to get a sunburn, 5 minutes outside without sunscreen will do the trick.
And when you don't get sunburned, it feels like high fiving a million angels.
Products that are marketed as "flesh toned" never really are.
If your friends refuse to find a shaded spot when you're outside, you will leave them behind.
No matter how hard you try not to blush... IT. JUST. KEEPS. HAPPENING.
You get really excited for winter, because the pale playing field gets even.
And even though you may sometimes wish you could tan...
You've learned to embrace the fact that your skin sparkles in the sun.
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