Skip To Content
    Jun 21, 2013

    14 Terrifying Questions You Ask Yourself After Every First Date

    Am I going to be alone forever? Because everyone I'm meeting is genuinely crazy.

    1. Does love exist, or should I just give up now?

    Have I been doing this all wrong? Is it that I'm unlovable, or that it's something the Hallmark company just invented to mess with my fragile emotions?!

    2. What is chemistry, really?

    Is it something you can actually feel? How do we know if what we're feeling is ACTUALLY chemistry and just pure lust? FEELINGS.

    3. What should I do with my life: text or not text?

    If I send them a text, will they reply? If they do reply, will it be good? Do I actually want it to be good?!

    4. Why haven't they called, and what is the universe trying to tell me?

    5. What is the point of dating if every first date is always SO awkward?

    Who invented them, and why?

    6. If there are plenty of fish in the sea, then is anyone ever really special?

    And if no one is special, then am I ALSO not special?!

    7. What is true love?

    And what's the point of calling it that if we can't actually define it?!

    8. Why did I say I like the Goo Goo Dolls? Who the fuck says something like that?

    I don't even like the Goo Goo Dolls, except for that one song about the dead angel, Nicolas Cage. :(

    9. Can I know what love is, if I've never really felt it?

    I smiled a lot, and so did he, so... does that mean we're both in love?

    10. Do I actually like him? Or am I just horny? Is there a difference?

    11. Is everyone you meet through online dating crazy?!

    The answer: probably.

    12. What did they mean when they said, “nice meeting you”?!

    Was it, "It was nice meeting you, and I think we should take our pants off now!" or "It was nice meeting you, now fuck off and die"?

    13. How long should I wait until we sleep together?

    Is right now too soon, or...?

    14. Am I going to be alone for the rest of my life?

    Because this date was so awful, it makes me think maybe I should be. :(