Being An Intern Vs. Having A Real Job

Intern has one sensible drink at the holiday party. Real employee gets blackout drunk.

1. Intern office attire: DRESS TO IMPRESS.

2. Real job attire: Whatever the hell you can find that doesn’t smell like mud.

3. When your boss IMs and asks you to do something as an intern: OMG, yes, anything you want! I’ll do it right now!

4. When your boss IMs and asks you to do something at a real job: LOL, ZERO FUCKS.

5. Intern job responsibilities: sort pens.

6. Real job responsibilities: everything you can’t trust an intern to do.

7. Office parties as an intern: You’re too nervous to drink.

Photo by Jere Keys,

8. Office party at a real job: You get blackout drunk.

9. When you run out of things to do as an intern:

10. When you run out of things to do at a real job:

11. Leaving on Friday as an intern:

12. Leaving on Friday at a real job:

13. Internship: feeling a little miffed about having to get the boss coffee.

Paul Bradbury / Getty Images

14. Real job: begging other people to go out for ice coffee with you.

15. Excel when you’re an intern: completely impossible to understand.

16. Excel when you have a real job: ask the intern.

17. Notes you take while in an important meeting as an intern:

18. Notes you take at a real job:

19. Lunch as an intern: picking it up for everyone else.

20. Lunch at real job: staying at your desk and snarfing whatever bullshit the intern brings back.

21. Intern: make a mistake and no one is at all surprised.

22. Real job: make a mistake and there are REAL AND TERRIFYING CONSEQUENCES.

23. How you get through the day as an intern: fake smiling.

24. How you get through the day at a real job: long lunches, coffee runs, and talking about food.

25. Surfing Facebook as an intern: do it for two seconds, then erase your browser activity.

26. Surfing Facebook at a real job: do it all damn day.

27. What you do after work as an intern: drink.

28. What you do after work at a real job: drink, hang out with your cat, and hate yourself for being hungover the next day.

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