A Dude's Guide To Making Out With A Beer Bottle
You'll never have a dull drinking experience again!
If you can, start practicing at an offensively young age.
But if you're starting later in life, fill a baby bottle with beer to help you catch up with the toddler group.
Practice licking often, and not just with beer bottles!
Try lapping at a comically large bottle of wine.
Or practice on your hot pink bowling ball, for example.
When you're ready for the real beer bottle deal, bring a friend for moral support.
Have him hold the bottle while you lick.
Or feed it to you, like a momma beer bear.
Eventually, solo beer licking glory will be yours for the taking!
And it will be stupendous.
Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!