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A Dude's Guide To Making Out With A Beer Bottle

You'll never have a dull drinking experience again!

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If you can, start practicing at an offensively young age.

But if you're starting later in life, fill a baby bottle with beer to help you catch up with the toddler group.

Practice licking often, and not just with beer bottles!

Try lapping at a comically large bottle of wine.

Or practice on your hot pink bowling ball, for example.

When you're ready for the real beer bottle deal, bring a friend for moral support.

Have him hold the bottle while you lick.

Or feed it to you, like a momma beer bear.

Eventually, solo beer licking glory will be yours for the taking!

And it will be stupendous.

Happy licking, everyone!
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Happy licking, everyone!

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