For Everyone Who's Sexually Attracted To Jaime Lannister

Who knows what that metal hand could do to you...

1. When Jaime suits up in his fancy armor, it's like he's whispering in your ear, "Yes, I will shield you with my beautiful body."

HBO

Yes, please, SHIELD ME, JAIME.

2. Sometimes he waves with his BIG METAL HAND and it's like, yeah... I'll show you where to wave that thing.

HBO

IDK what that means, but let's just GO WITH IT.

3. And OK, yes, Jaime is into some ~kinky~ shit.

HBO

Talking about sexing his sister, y'all.

4. But after seeing Jaime and Cersei do it, it's kind of like... maybe this is SOMETHING WE CAN LOOK PAST.

HBO

Looking directly at this and also past this.

5. Jaime has that kind of dry wit that makes your pants just fall off.

HBO

6. YUP. MY PANTS HAVE FALLEN OFF AND BURST INTO FLAMES.

HBO

7. He doesn't need to do much to impress. He could just stand there and look pretty.

HBO

Very pretty, yes.

8. Or awkwardly get fitted for a new hand, but somehow flex his biceps at the same time.

HBO

FLEX FOR THE RIGHT FIT.

9. When he furrows his brows, it's like, what are you thinking boo? Can we think together?

HBO

::: is it about me?!? :::

10. He's hot AF because he's funny AF.

HBO

Even when you shouldn't actually be funny, because the situation is very dire.

11. He also really knows how to work the whole "partially dirty, but partially clean" look.

HBO

12. He's not afraid to tell it like it is. (Even if that means upsetting his father.)

HBO

Fuck Tywin, tbh.

13. Jaime can fight off swords even WITHOUT his own sword!

HBO

Bless that metal hand. Bless it!

14. And there's something TRULY MAGICAL about his hair.

HBO

Started long, and now we're here. Thank you for being here.

15. I mean.... ERMPH!

HBO

Additionally: ROAR.

16. Watching Jaime flip his hair is like seeing the face of god, and knowing that it's Jaime's face.

HBO

And Jaime's beautiful hair, also.

17. Even when he's being completely evil, it's impossible to find him unattractive.

HBO

Don't push that Stark, but DO pop those cheekbones.

18. Because like, LOOK AT HIS FUCKING FACE.

HBO

19. If you're wondering what other works of art Michelangelo created, it's Jaime's cheekbones, which he sculpted from HEAVENLY MARBLE.

HBO

That's why his cheekbones are so high: They come from ABOVE.

20. We should all be as lucky as Cersei to have shared a womb with that face, and also get to rub against that face!

HBO

THAT FACE. The one that launched a thousand ships from my heart.

21. Or as blessed as Brienne, to have Jaime even REMEMBER where you're from.

HBO

And also, probably pine over you, just a little bit.

22. TBH, dying by the hands of Jaime would be A LOVELY way to go.

HBO

Slay me, Kingslayer, slayyyyy.

23. Come on, we all secretly want to be this sword right now, amirite ladies?!

HBO

24. UGH, I CANNOT BREATHE. I AM LOSING ALL OF THE LIFE FROM MY BODY JUST FROM LOOKING AT HIM.

HBO

Time of death: now o'clock.

HBO

In conclusion: Yes, Jaime Lannister, we would all like to have your babies.

But probably only Cersei gets to have those, because, ya know, twincest. :(