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For Everyone Who's Sexually Attracted To Jaime Lannister

Who knows what that metal hand could do to you...

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1. When Jaime suits up in his fancy armor, it's like he's whispering in your ear, "Yes, I will shield you with my beautiful body."

Yes, please, SHIELD ME, JAIME.
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Yes, please, SHIELD ME, JAIME.

2. Sometimes he waves with his BIG METAL HAND and it's like, yeah... I'll show you where to wave that thing.

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IDK what that means, but let's just GO WITH IT.

3. And OK, yes, Jaime is into some ~kinky~ shit.

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Talking about sexing his sister, y'all.

4. But after seeing Jaime and Cersei do it, it's kind of like... maybe this is SOMETHING WE CAN LOOK PAST.

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Looking directly at this and also past this.

5. Jaime has that kind of dry wit that makes your pants just fall off.

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6. YUP. MY PANTS HAVE FALLEN OFF AND BURST INTO FLAMES.

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7. He doesn't need to do much to impress. He could just stand there and look pretty.

Very pretty, yes.
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Very pretty, yes.

8. Or awkwardly get fitted for a new hand, but somehow flex his biceps at the same time.

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FLEX FOR THE RIGHT FIT.

9. When he furrows his brows, it's like, what are you thinking boo? Can we think together?

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::: is it about me?!? :::

10. He's hot AF because he's funny AF.

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Even when you shouldn't actually be funny, because the situation is very dire.

11. He also really knows how to work the whole "partially dirty, but partially clean" look.

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12. He's not afraid to tell it like it is. (Even if that means upsetting his father.)

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Fuck Tywin, tbh.

13. Jaime can fight off swords even WITHOUT his own sword!

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Bless that metal hand. Bless it!

14. And there's something TRULY MAGICAL about his hair.

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Started long, and now we're here. Thank you for being here.

15. I mean.... ERMPH!

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Additionally: ROAR.

16. Watching Jaime flip his hair is like seeing the face of god, and knowing that it's Jaime's face.

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And Jaime's beautiful hair, also.

17. Even when he's being completely evil, it's impossible to find him unattractive.

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Don't push that Stark, but DO pop those cheekbones.

18. Because like, LOOK AT HIS FUCKING FACE.

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19. If you're wondering what other works of art Michelangelo created, it's Jaime's cheekbones, which he sculpted from HEAVENLY MARBLE.

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That's why his cheekbones are so high: They come from ABOVE.

20. We should all be as lucky as Cersei to have shared a womb with that face, and also get to rub against that face!

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THAT FACE. The one that launched a thousand ships from my heart.

21. Or as blessed as Brienne, to have Jaime even REMEMBER where you're from.

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And also, probably pine over you, just a little bit.

22. TBH, dying by the hands of Jaime would be A LOVELY way to go.

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Slay me, Kingslayer, slayyyyy.

23. Come on, we all secretly want to be this sword right now, amirite ladies?!

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24. UGH, I CANNOT BREATHE. I AM LOSING ALL OF THE LIFE FROM MY BODY JUST FROM LOOKING AT HIM.

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Time of death: now o'clock.

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In conclusion: Yes, Jaime Lannister, we would all like to have your babies.

But probably only Cersei gets to have those, because, ya know, twincest. :(

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