18 Reasons Why Jessica Chastain Is Cooler Than You
Just try not to fall in love with her. We double dog dare you.
1. Sometimes people just give her statues!

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2. And when they do, she dances like this.
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Dance on, girl.
3. She looks good, even when she's the only one not wearing camo.

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4. This yearbook photo is how she got discovered*!

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(*Discovered to be the only person alive who takes fabulous yearbook photos.)
5. She's dating Brad Pitt AND Sean Penn.

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They like to swap nights, like sister husbands.
6. Just kidding, she's dating Loki from "The Avengers."

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Get it, girl.
7. This is her three-legged dog.

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His name is Chaplin. They like long walks on the beach.

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And, again, he's got three legs.
8. Her credits include "Madagascar 3."

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And she lists that film in her playbill bio.
9. She has really big hair. It's filled with secrets!

Via ellecanada.com
Really terrible secrets that will haunt your waking dreams.
10. She fights crime in her Louboutins.

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And then hides the bodies in Sean Penn's mansion.
11. Her celebrity crush is Sirius Black.

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Or Gary Oldman. Whatever works.
12. Her clothes inexplicably fall off just so we can know what heaven is like.

Courtesy of British GQ / Via gq-magazine.co.uk
13. She's a ginger.

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Redheads, unite!
14. Sometimes she's blonde, though.

Courtesy of DreamWorks
15. She really likes old people.

Via style.com
This one happens to be her grandma, and she is faboo.
16. Anna Wintour wants to sleep with her.

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17. So does Amanda Seyfried.

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18. The Olsen twins just like to hold each other and stand next to her.

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They can't handle all of the redhead heat she radiates.