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Have you ever wished life was more like a video game?
Well wish no more!
Here are "Achievement Unlocks" for your common, everyday situations. Enjoy.
1. You produce a deeply satisfying yet silent and unnoticed fart in public.
2. You blow dry your hair without it doing that weird swoopy thing it usually does.
3. You hit every green light while driving somewhere.
4. You smile at the baby in the stroller in front of you and it smiles back.
5. You correctly pronounce the name of some fancy foreign food at some fancy foreign restaurant.
6. You sit down to pee and end up effortlessly pooping as well.
7. You find a twenty dollar bill in your pocket that you'd forgotten about.
8. You take a shower when you really have to even though you really don't want to.
9. You keep your pants on for a few hours after work.
10. You pull into your driveway just as a song ends.
11. You decide to wear a matching bra and underwear just because you're worth it.
12. You deliver the perfect award acceptance speech to your mirror.
13. You find yourself in that rare, productive mood that gets you to clean your whole house.
14. The tips on your winged eyeliner come out perfectly even.
15. You sign something and it looks more like the mark of a grown person instead of a baby learning cursive.
16. You pull out that hair that's been annoying you without a tweezer.
17. You eat an entire taco without it falling apart.
18. You take an attractive selfie successfully on your first try.
19. You drop your phone and the screen doesn't crack.
20. You realize that you've memorized a phone number other than your mom's.
21. You toss a piece of trash into the can across the room and make it.
22. You make a particularly groundbreaking discovery in the shower.
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