11 Reasons Thanksgiving Is The Best Thing Ever

YA CAN'T ARGUE WITH THIS.

1. STUFFING

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IT'S LIKE BREAD MOISTER THAN A MUDSLICK AND TWICE AS SALTY.

2. CANDIED YAMS

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HMM HOW SHALL WE PREPARE THESE ALREADY SWEET POTATOES? I KNOW, DUMP A BUNCH OF SUGAR NUGGETS ON TOP. DELICIOUS AND TERRIBLE FOR YOU, THE BEST COMBINATION.

3. GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE

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CRUNCHY, CRISPY GREEN GOODNESS SMOTHERED IN SAUCE SO THICK IT SHOULD BE CONSIDERED A CHOKING HAZARD. DEEELICIOUS.

4. ROASTED SQUASH

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BUTTERY CHUNKS OF ORANGE HEAVEN GLISTENING WITH OIL LIKE YOUR THIGHS AT THE BEACH IN THE MIDDLE OF AUGUST. I WANT SECONDS ALREADY.

5. MASHED POTATOES

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LIKE EATING AN ACTUAL CLOUD, IF CLOUDS TASTED STARCHY AND SALTY AND PEEERFECT.

6. ROASTED CORN

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GOBBLE THESE GOLDEN NUGGETS SIDE TO SIDE LIKE A TYPEWRITER AND THANK ME LATER. YUM YUM YUM.

7. CRANBERRY SAUCE

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TANGY, TARTY JELLY SAUCE THAT WOULD NORMALLY BE GROSS BUT FOR SOME REASON IT JUST MAKES SENSE ON THANKSGIVING.

8. BUTTERNUT SQUASH SOUP

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AW YEAH, LIKE A HOT WAD OF CREAMED SUNLIGHT SLIDING DOWN YOUR THROAT. WARM YA RIGHT UP.

9. DINNER ROLLS

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WHO EVEN HAS ROOM FOR THESE WARM, FLAKY BALLS OF PURE ECSTASY? NOBODY! PASS ME 13 MORE.

10. OH YEAH, THE FREAKING TURKEY

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MMMMM CRISPY SKIN, SUCCULENT MEAT. SOME PEOPLE THINK IT'S DRY BECAUSE THEY HAVE NEVER HEARD OF GRAVY APPARENTLY.

11. AND OH MY BUTT, PUMPKIN PIE

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WHAT DEAL WITH SATAN DID WE MAKE TO DESERVE THIS CREAMY, FLUFFY, PUMPKINY MIRACLE IN A GRAHAM CRACKER CRUST? THANKSGIVING IS A GIFT TO HUMANITY.