2."Please tell me that all the clocks in my immediate vicinity have been pushed forward exactly 14 minutes as some sort of elaborate yet vague prank."
3."I'm late for the meeting! The meeting! I'm late! For the meeting! How could I have let this happen! The meeting! Late! Me!"
4."I'm pretty sure that I would rather pour scalding hot breakroom coffee into both my eyes than walk into that meeting late. Linda would be so smug."
5."I could just stand up from my desk and walk out the front door. Disappear into the crowds outside and never return. It would be front page news. People would be so concerned they'd totally forget about the late thing."
6."I could change my name. Live off the land. There are no meetings in the woods. No Lindas either."
7."No. Not again. You can't run to the woods every time you have a problem. You have to face the fire."
8."Wait! I thought of it: the perfect plan!"
9."I'll just tell 'em I had diarrhea! No one calls you out for having diarrhea."