The 12 Stages Of A Family Gathering

If you've got a big family, you should recognize the simultaneous excitement and fear that accompanies a family gathering.

1.

blogger.com

You pull up to your grandparents house, about half an hour late, as usual. You grab the bottle of wine that you brought, take a deep breath, and knock on the door.

2.

Your grandmother greets you at the door, pulling you in for a hug while simultaneously complaining about how you're late and the food will be cold.

3.

Via tumblr.com

All of your relatives, already tipsy, stand up and give you hugs. Your cousin Tim asks you about your boyfriend, who you broke up with two months ago. Time for a glass of that wine!

4.

You make awkward small talk while everyone sips on their drinks and nibbles on the (very) burnt crab dip that your grandma made, so that she won't be upset that no one has eaten it.

5.

Your grandmother, after about 45 minutes of screaming at your grandfather about why the steaks aren't on the grill, why he hasn't asked us if we need refills, and why he's taking so long, finally announces that dinner is ready.

6.

Via janeheller.com

You all file in, and the awkward seat dance begins. No one wants to sit next Amy, your six-year-old cousin, because that guarantees you assignment as her babysitter for the rest of the night.

7.

You finally settle on a seat between Tim and your Aunt Mary, who usually just wants to talk about how work is going and about her kids. Amy is all the way at the other end of the table.

8.

Via wordpress.com

The drunken political debate begins. Grandma, Aunt Mary, and Uncle John are Democrats, your parents and Grandpa are Republicans. You are, of course, in the middle of the table, between the two sides.

9.

Grandma stomps out of the room, Uncle John "accidentally" smashes his plate when he tries to emphasize a point. You're about to get up and leave when Grandpa announces that dessert is ready!

10.

Everyone is happy again in their sugar comas, and all of the arguing is forgotten.

11.

Amy falls asleep on the couch. Tipsy and full of sugar, everyone sits around on the couch and finally talks, until Grandma announces that she needs to go to bed.

12.

Everyone hugs and piles into cars, smiling at the silly, loving mess that is their family.