For a brief moment in the history of our world — the mid-1980s through early 1990s, to be exact — angels walked among us unworthy humans.
Stringing together heartfelt, captivating lyrics over the most entrancing beats of our generation, they created a musical genre that would transcend space and time, one that would forever change the world and the way our bodies moved.
It was called...FREESTYLE.
Aside from its ability to make your booty shake and lift your spirits like no other, freestyle also lent itself to the most AMAZING music videos on the planet.
Let's revisit this glorious, golden time in history and take a look at some of the things that only happen in freestyle music videos.
1.Driving around town looking sultry in your sweet-ass mullet and convertible with tiger-striped interior...
2....and then proposing to a woman wearing fingerless gloves on the beach.
Stevie B, "Spring Love (Come Back to Me)"
3.Pointing aggressively at a creepy man who likes to disappear into thin air every 30 seconds while dancing through a smoky forest.
4.Having hologram version of said disappearing man terrorize actual version of himself while doing some sort of weird reverse push-ups on the forest floor.
Shannon, "Give Me Tonight"
5.Opening a set of heavy doors telepathically, using only the sheer power of your desire to DANCE.
6.Then getting bored of dancing and jumping off of ladders for some ~edgy~ fun.
Pretty Poison, "Catch Me I'm Falling"
7.Throwing your lit cigarette back into your apartment in an emotional haze and breaking down into some serious fury-fueled rooftop dance moves.
Noel, "Silent Morning"
8.Totally forgetting the purpose of a playground and inviting all your teenage friends to a dance party on the jungle gym.
9....and turning it into a place to pick up bona fide babes.
Lil Suzy, "Take Me in Your Arms"
10.Gettin' down in a warehouse in repurposed Halloween costumes.
11.And rocking a unicorn 'do while you chill on the hood of a car with a hottie.
Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam, "I Wonder If I Take You Home"
12.Tempting each other with bedroom eyes in a decrepit, asbestos-infested building.
Stevie B, "Dreaming of You"
13.Hijacking a boxing ring for your own private dance party with some pals.
Coro, "My Fallen Angel"
14.Renting a room pulled straight out of the set of the Wizard of Oz.
Sa-Fire, "Let Me Be the One"
15.Lying motionless in agony on a bare mattress in a giant warehouse/loft you may be squatting in because there is literally nothing else in there.
16.And learning the timeless art of seduction via freight elevator.
TKA, "Louder Than Love"
17.And — perhaps most importantly — sitting on bench with your besties in your most prized glitter bra tops and belting out some heavenly, hypnotizing tunes.