5. What does it MEAN?! (Usually asked by a stranger in a public place.)
Listen, dude. If I were interested in giving a dissertation detailing the inspiration behind my tattoos, I’d be at the Why I Got My Tattoo convention right now, not here at the bar catching up with my friend over some Guinness. (FYI: I am not a jerk. I just prefer to bond with strangers by, say, playing K-F-M using other bar patrons, or showing them adorable selfies of my cat. Not talking about my tattoos.)
12. Who did your tattoo — do you have his/her number?
No, but there’s a cool new website called Google that might. (Don’t get me wrong — I love my artist, and I would refer every tattoo-wanting human on the planet to him. I am not, however, a walking billboard for his business and don’t carry his cards in my wallet. Sorry!)
*tears. Stupid iPhone.
16. UGH, what are you gonna look like when you’re 80??
- The Pentagon will now be able to decide how many of its troops are deployed in the war against ISIS and when they are sent there.
- Texas is suing the federal government for blocking a huge shipment of illegal execution drugs from entering the state 💉
- McDonald's spends big bucks rolling out "premium" menu items like leafy wraps, but data shows its customers just want cheap deals 🍔🍟
- An extraordinary new study claims humans roamed America 130,000 years ago, but fossil experts say don't believe the hype 🤔