15 Reasons 2015 Is The Year Of The Turtleneck

Don't be a loser...jump on the fashion trend

1. Bold impressions

When you see someone killing it in a turtleneck it's like aw man they have confidence I wish I could be like them.

2. Hide hickeys

If you're into that then just put on a turtleneck; I don't need to know that your neck has been ravaged by someone unless that someone is James or Dave Franco or both...then yes I need to know...now

3. Keep your neck warm

This seems simple enough, but sometime a scarf just won't do (and if we are being honest although scarfs have been in fashion for as long as I have been alive, I'm calling it...scarfs out turtle necks in 2k15)

4. Look older

If you are ever trying to sneak into something or just look older in general no one will stereotype you as younger than your actual age if you are wearing a turtleneck. It's an automatic add 5 years.

5. Confuse people

If you look sexy in a turtleneck someone will be confused. It's like the time I found someone with a rat tail sexy. I frankly didn't know what to do, but I couldn't stop looking.

6. Be taken seriously in a library

Librarians can be judgmental, but if you slap on a turtleneck your in. It's like a secret code, they automatically think you'll be well behaved, and even if you do dick around a little in the library they won't care because you're wearing a turtleneck.

7. Hide a double chin

If you got one no shame, just put a turtleneck on and life will be good.

8. Have a unaboob

Who doesn't want one/who isn't attracted to it

9. Long necks are fashionable

Elongate your neck in photos (I'm being serious), it makes you look so much more glamorous, and turtlenecks automatically do that for you.

10. You are always ready for slam poetry

People think people who wear turtlenecks are moody and edgy...embrace that.

11. Throw a sporty turtleneck on

If you're participating in an athletic event and your competitor shows up wearing a turtleneck you are losing...there is no way around it...you will lose. LOSE!

12. Hit the club confidently

You will not be worried about a nip-slip in this snazzy piece of fashion

13. The 90's are coming back into fashion

Chokers, high waisted jeans, "uh as if." What is this...this is the 90's, but also this is the fashionable right now. Turtlenecks are the natural step in confirming that you are in fact a child of the 90's and no one can bring you down.

14. Sleeveless turtlenecks are cool

They are so cool they are arguably kewl.

15. You can prove to your friends that they never went out of style

Some of my friends make fun of me that I own a turtleneck...but as everyone can now see the joke is on them because turtlenecks are the things of 2015. YEAR OF THE TURTLENECK!!!!!!