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    28 Things You'll Love If You Can't Stop Fucking Cursing

    Shit! Sorry.

    Alice Yoo / BuzzFeed

    We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page.

    1. A book with ~colorful language~ for days you need to sit alone in a corner and cope.

    amazon.com

    Promising Review: "Unfortunately, the only adult coloring books I can obtain locally are of butterflies and other foo-foo nonsense. THIS, however, allows me to clearly and colorfully illustrate my dislike for people in a way that no other medium quite manages." —Amazon Customer

    Get it on Amazon for $5.39.

    2. A punny patch so any outfit ends with a *kicker*.

    shop.nylon.com

    Get it on Nylon Shop for $12 .

    3. A sly pillow because cursing sounds refined in French.

    etsy.com

    Get it from alexandraferguson on Etsy for $97.

    4. A devious paperweight to hold down any rising urges to drop some bombs.

    uncommongoods.com

    Promising Review: "My coworker has papers all over, plus she tends to drop the 'f bomb,' so this was perfect! She was also in the military, so she likes that the artist often uses recycled military helmets in his work." —Kathy

    Get it on Uncommon Goods for $45.

    5. Some stern coasters in case you have some sloppy guests.

    etsy.com

    Get a set of of eight from MCPressure on Etsy for $15.

    6. Some ballsy balloons that don't deflate at poor language.

    firebox.com

    Promising Review: "Loved the look on my flatmate's face when he came home to these. Not sure if he was laughing because it was funny, or to keep from crying." —Emma

    Get a set of 12 on Firebox for $9.

    7. A dainty ring with a strong message so your potty mouth can complement your manicure.

    etsy.com

    Promising Review: "Super fun ring." —Kerry Ann Unrein

    Get it from Passion & Love on Etsy for $9+ (available in seven colors and in sizes 4-15).

    8. A work of art to use as a suitable greeting in your entryway.

    fab.com

    Get it on Fab for $34+.

    9. A subtle message on a T-shirt that can't be missed.

    etsy.com

    Promising Review: "Love the shirt and the fit, plus the quality is perfect!" —Desaray Pelton's

    Get it from The Katy Days on Etsy for $16.23.

    10. A handy jewelry dish so all your expletives are cheery, not distressed.

    etsy.com

    Unless you lose this, too.

    Promising Review: "I gave this to my daughter after she lost, then found her wedding ring. She loved it." —GuruHari

    Get it from Dez Custom Creations on Etsy for $11.

    11. A blasphemous guide for expressing yourself around the world.

    firebox.com

    Promising Review: "Focuses on the literal translation of foreign phrases, which makes them seem even more ridiculous. Makes for great bathroom reading material, too. You can tell your friends what you just did in several languages!" —A. Billek

    Get it for $11.49 on Firebox or $8.43 on Amazon.

    12. A heartfelt message to put on a loved one's cake.

    amazon.com

    Get them on Amazon for $8.75.

    13. A motivational notepad for only the most chipper employee.

    us.asos.com

    Get it on ASOS for $5.50.

    14. A blunt banner featuring your favorite emoji.

    etsy.com

    Get it from Mermie4ever on Etsy for $20.

    15. A curt cookbook that'll tell you to eat some goddamn vegetables for once.

    amazon.com

    Get it on Amazon for $9.99+ (available in eBook and hardcover).

    16. A devious declaration for cutting the small talk.

    etsy.com

    Promising Review: "Honestly my favorite hat right now. Fits nice, and feels durable." —David Realivasquez

    Get it from Impure Thoughts on Etsy for $14.99 (available in 12 text colors and five hat colors).

    17. A determined duffle so you can at least *pretend* to be serious at the gym.

    shop.nylon.com

    Get it on Nylon Shop for $25.

    18. A likely direct quote of how you list your groceries.

    etsy.com

    Promising Review: "This bag is so cute! It's perfect for my shopping trips when I buy a little extra than usual." —Gigi Valdez

    Get it from Shine Store Co on Etsy for $14.95.

    19. A tenacious tweezer anyone with literally any amount of hair will appreciate.

    revolve.com

    Get it on Revolve for $29.

    20. A cozy sweatshirt for people who take the art of laziness very seriously.

    buymebrunch.com

    Get it on Buy Me Brunch for $54 (available in sizes S-XL).

    21. Some empowering stackable rings, because some labels are worth living up to.

    etsy.com

    Promising Review: "Looks great. Got here fast. Wife loved it." —James Klee

    Get it from simplestamp on Etsy for $14+ (available in four styles and in sizes 4-10).

    22. A hydrating spray with rose water and aloe, because your signature scent should speak your language.

    revolve.com

    Get it on Revolve for $26.

    23. A corrupted take on the childhood classic—it doesn't exactly tell you to rise and shine.

    rigelstuhmiller.com

    Promising Review: "Better than I expected. Twisted comedy genius." —aduray

    Get it on Amazon for $8.99.

    24. A rowdy rolling pin so you can guarantee truly ~fresh~ cookies.

    etsy.com

    Promising Review: "LOVE THIS!" —Casi

    Get it from KustomProducts on Etsy for $34.95.

    25. An honest T-shirt for brave souls who would actually wear it to work.

    revolve.com

    Get it on Revolve for $35 (available in XS-L).

    26. A rebellious tote that's really raisin the bar for others.

    society6.com

    Get it from psgsummers on Society6 for $20.

    27. Some passive aggressive pencils so you can put your feelings into writing.

    etsy.com

    Get a set of six from thecarboncrusader on Etsy for $8.

    28. A swearing sloth who wants you to use this journal and get your life together, already.

    amazon.com

    Get it on Amazon for $8.99.

    Life will never be able to bleep us out.

    Universal Pictures

    Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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