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28 Things You'll Love If You Can't Stop Fucking Cursing

Shit! Sorry.

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We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page.
Alice Yoo / BuzzFeed

We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page.

1. A book with ~colorful language~ for days you need to sit alone in a corner and cope.

Promising Review: "Unfortunately, the only adult coloring books I can obtain locally are of butterflies and other foo-foo nonsense. THIS, however, allows me to clearly and colorfully illustrate my dislike for people in a way that no other medium quite manages." —Amazon CustomerGet it on Amazon for $5.39.
amazon.com

Promising Review: "Unfortunately, the only adult coloring books I can obtain locally are of butterflies and other foo-foo nonsense. THIS, however, allows me to clearly and colorfully illustrate my dislike for people in a way that no other medium quite manages." —Amazon Customer

Get it on Amazon for $5.39.

2. A punny patch so any outfit ends with a *kicker*.

Get it on Nylon Shop for $12 .
shop.nylon.com

Get it on Nylon Shop for $12 .

3. A sly pillow because cursing sounds refined in French.

Get it from alexandraferguson on Etsy for $97.
etsy.com

Get it from alexandraferguson on Etsy for $97.

4. A devious paperweight to hold down any rising urges to drop some bombs.

Promising Review: "My coworker has papers all over, plus she tends to drop the 'f bomb,' so this was perfect! She was also in the military, so she likes that the artist often uses recycled military helmets in his work." —KathyGet it on Uncommon Goods for $45.
uncommongoods.com

Promising Review: "My coworker has papers all over, plus she tends to drop the 'f bomb,' so this was perfect! She was also in the military, so she likes that the artist often uses recycled military helmets in his work." —Kathy

Get it on Uncommon Goods for $45.

5. Some stern coasters in case you have some sloppy guests.

Get a set of of eight from MCPressure on Etsy for $15.
etsy.com

Get a set of of eight from MCPressure on Etsy for $15.

6. Some ballsy balloons that don't deflate at poor language.

Promising Review: "Loved the look on my flatmate's face when he came home to these. Not sure if he was laughing because it was funny, or to keep from crying." —EmmaGet a set of 12 on Firebox for $9.
firebox.com

Promising Review: "Loved the look on my flatmate's face when he came home to these. Not sure if he was laughing because it was funny, or to keep from crying." —Emma

Get a set of 12 on Firebox for $9.

7. A dainty ring with a strong message so your potty mouth can complement your manicure.

Promising Review: "Super fun ring." —Kerry Ann UnreinGet it from Passion & Love on Etsy for $9+ (available in seven colors and in sizes 4-15).
etsy.com

Promising Review: "Super fun ring." —Kerry Ann Unrein

Get it from Passion & Love on Etsy for $9+ (available in seven colors and in sizes 4-15).

8. A work of art to use as a suitable greeting in your entryway.

Get it on Fab for $34+.
fab.com

Get it on Fab for $34+.

9. A subtle message on a T-shirt that can't be missed.

Promising Review: "Love the shirt and the fit, plus the quality is perfect!" —Desaray Pelton'sGet it from The Katy Days on Etsy for $16.23.
etsy.com

Promising Review: "Love the shirt and the fit, plus the quality is perfect!" —Desaray Pelton's

Get it from The Katy Days on Etsy for $16.23.

10. A handy jewelry dish so all your expletives are cheery, not distressed.

Unless you lose this, too.Promising Review: "I gave this to my daughter after she lost, then found her wedding ring. She loved it." —GuruHariGet it from Dez Custom Creations on Etsy for $11.
etsy.com

Unless you lose this, too.

Promising Review: "I gave this to my daughter after she lost, then found her wedding ring. She loved it." —GuruHari

Get it from Dez Custom Creations on Etsy for $11.

11. A blasphemous guide for expressing yourself around the world.

Promising Review: "Focuses on the literal translation of foreign phrases, which makes them seem even more ridiculous. Makes for great bathroom reading material, too. You can tell your friends what you just did in several languages!" —A. BillekGet it for $11.49 on Firebox or $8.43 on Amazon.
firebox.com

Promising Review: "Focuses on the literal translation of foreign phrases, which makes them seem even more ridiculous. Makes for great bathroom reading material, too. You can tell your friends what you just did in several languages!" —A. Billek

Get it for $11.49 on Firebox or $8.43 on Amazon.

12. A heartfelt message to put on a loved one's cake.

Get them on Amazon for $8.75.
amazon.com

Get them on Amazon for $8.75.

13. A motivational notepad for only the most chipper employee.

Get it on ASOS for $5.50.
us.asos.com

Get it on ASOS for $5.50.

14. A blunt banner featuring your favorite emoji.

Get it from Mermie4ever on Etsy for $20.
etsy.com

Get it from Mermie4ever on Etsy for $20.

15. A curt cookbook that'll tell you to eat some goddamn vegetables for once.

Get it on Amazon for $9.99+ (available in eBook and hardcover).
amazon.com

Get it on Amazon for $9.99+ (available in eBook and hardcover).

16. A devious declaration for cutting the small talk.

Promising Review: "Honestly my favorite hat right now. Fits nice, and feels durable." —David RealivasquezGet it from Impure Thoughts on Etsy for $14.99 (available in 12 text colors and five hat colors).
etsy.com

Promising Review: "Honestly my favorite hat right now. Fits nice, and feels durable." —David Realivasquez

Get it from Impure Thoughts on Etsy for $14.99 (available in 12 text colors and five hat colors).

17. A determined duffle so you can at least *pretend* to be serious at the gym.

Get it on Nylon Shop for $25.
shop.nylon.com

Get it on Nylon Shop for $25.

18. A likely direct quote of how you list your groceries.

Promising Review: "This bag is so cute! It's perfect for my shopping trips when I buy a little extra than usual." —Gigi ValdezGet it from Shine Store Co on Etsy for $14.95.
etsy.com

Promising Review: "This bag is so cute! It's perfect for my shopping trips when I buy a little extra than usual." —Gigi Valdez

Get it from Shine Store Co on Etsy for $14.95.

19. A tenacious tweezer anyone with literally any amount of hair will appreciate.

Get it on Revolve for $29.
revolve.com

Get it on Revolve for $29.

20. A cozy sweatshirt for people who take the art of laziness very seriously.

Get it on Buy Me Brunch for $54 (available in sizes S-XL).
buymebrunch.com

Get it on Buy Me Brunch for $54 (available in sizes S-XL).

21. Some empowering stackable rings, because some labels are worth living up to.

Promising Review: "Looks great. Got here fast. Wife loved it." —James KleeGet it from simplestamp on Etsy for $14+ (available in four styles and in sizes 4-10).
etsy.com

Promising Review: "Looks great. Got here fast. Wife loved it." —James Klee

Get it from simplestamp on Etsy for $14+ (available in four styles and in sizes 4-10).

22. A hydrating spray with rose water and aloe, because your signature scent should speak your language.

Get it on Revolve for $26.
revolve.com

Get it on Revolve for $26.

23. A corrupted take on the childhood classic—it doesn't exactly tell you to rise and shine.

Promising Review: "Better than I expected. Twisted comedy genius." —adurayGet it on Amazon for $8.99.
rigelstuhmiller.com

Promising Review: "Better than I expected. Twisted comedy genius." —aduray

Get it on Amazon for $8.99.

24. A rowdy rolling pin so you can guarantee truly ~fresh~ cookies.

Promising Review: "LOVE THIS!" —CasiGet it from KustomProducts on Etsy for $34.95.
etsy.com

Promising Review: "LOVE THIS!" —Casi

Get it from KustomProducts on Etsy for $34.95.

25. An honest T-shirt for brave souls who would actually wear it to work.

Get it on Revolve for $35 (available in XS-L).
revolve.com

Get it on Revolve for $35 (available in XS-L).

26. A rebellious tote that's really raisin the bar for others.

Get it from psgsummers on Society6 for $20.
society6.com

Get it from psgsummers on Society6 for $20.

27. Some passive aggressive pencils so you can put your feelings into writing.

Get a set of six from thecarboncrusader on Etsy for $8.
etsy.com

Get a set of six from thecarboncrusader on Etsy for $8.

28. A swearing sloth who wants you to use this journal and get your life together, already.

Get it on Amazon for $8.99.
amazon.com

Get it on Amazon for $8.99.

Life will never be able to bleep us out.

Universal Pictures

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