Tarte Is Practically GIVING Us Full Makeup Kits And I Can't Stop Screaming

GUYS. SEVEN FULL-SIZE ITEMS. FOR $63. VALUED AT $200. NEED I KEEP SHOUTING?

As we all know, Tarte Cosmetics is THE best when it comes to cruelty-free, vegan-friendly makeup. But did you know that for ~today only~ you can create a custom kit with seven full-size items? FOR ONLY $63?!

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The value of all these things put together? $200! AND free shipping! So yea, it's pretty darn amazing.

My math SAT scores were horrendous, but I *do* know that 69% off is a STEAL. So I am here to take you by the hand and take you step by step through everyone's favorite beauty deal of the century. Am I being dramatic? No.

World Of Wonder Productions

Most people have been waiting for Hanukkah/Christmas, but I have been waiting for THIS.

1. First thing first: choose your own *custom beauty kit pouch* for all the makeup you're about to fill 'er up with.

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I knew the gold bag was my go-to. It'll really match the ~fancy, but cheap~ lifestyle I insist on living as I play with all my new makeup.

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2. Time to lay down the *foundation* of our kits: you really can't go wrong with these four options that all have cult followings of their own. No matter what, your complexion is about to g-l-o-w!

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Your options?

* Shape Tape Matte Foundation: This bb sits at the popular table for a reason: It's a MUST for oily, acne-prone skin — almost 1,061 positive reviews swear by this as a full-coverage solution to breakouts. It absorbs oil and shine, refines pores, and nourishes irritated skin with vitamin E. AND it won't ever flake or cake, because you deserve nothing but its ~airbrushed finish~. Don't worry: it's also oil-free — and vegan (available in 25 shades).

* Clay Stick Foundation: If you're looking for makeup that'll melt into your skin, feel as natural as possible, yet still provide good coverage, this is your new best friend. It neutralizes redness, evens skin tone and hyperpigmentation, minimizes pores, and miraculously hydrates AND mattifies your skin at the same time. How? Its vegan formula of antioxidants and vitamins V and E help *balance* your skin and actually improve it over time. Did I mention you can comfortably wear it for 12 hours? We are truly blessed (available in 12 shades).

* Shape Tape Hydrating Foundation: Wanna *flake* on dry patches? Then it's time to stock up, because this oil-free, hypoallergenic, luminous-finish gel formula is here to help. Its complexion-smoothing formula is packed with collagen and hyaluronic acid to hydrate all day, plump skin, and refine pores. Win, win, win. And you can be sure it'll never crease or fade — it's a cult favorite for a reason (available in 25 shades(!

* Amazonian Clay Airbrush Foundation: Oily T-zones, meet your match. This weightless powder provides a weightless, matte coverage that'll achieve a full-coverage solution to redness, unevenness, and enlarged pores in just a pat. Its Amazonian clay formula controls oil and makes makeup last — PLUS it'll energize skin and diffuse light for a *natural-looking* finish. The best part? Its custom mesh applicator delivers buildable (yet breathable) coverage and prevents anything from settling into fine lines (available in 16 shades).

I went right for my constant favorite: Shape Tape Matte Foundation, because I'm done wondering if my T-zone can be spotted from space. This'll keep my complexion even, my pores under control, and my whole darn day shine-free. I'm not crying, my eyes are just sweating.

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Plus! If you're a skincare junkie like me, you can'r resist this formula's nourishing vitamin E. Who agrees with me? Oh, only almost 1,061 happy reviewers!

Promising review: "I am OBSESSED with the Tarte Shape Tape foundation. It is lightweight and VERY full coverage. It covers up all my blemishes with little to no sheerness." —Melody

Need proof? Just 👏look👏 at👏 that👏 coverage!

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3. Next, we choose what we want to top off our foundation! Concealer? Highlighting drops? Contouring? HOW TO CHOOSE?! *Inhales dramatically*.

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Before we panic let's break 'em down:

* Amazonian Clay Waterproof 12-Hour Concealer: This shows blemishes, redness, and dark circles the door in just a twist and a swipe thanks to its velvet-matte combo of Amazonian clay and vitamins V and E. It's creamy, blendable, waterproof, and I'll just say it: straight dreamy. And in case you didn't already guess: it lasts for 12 hours (available in 10 shades).

* Hamptons Weekender Contour Palette: What's better than a highlighter, blush, and contour palette all in one? All of that, but in travel size! Its three SUPER-pigmented shades (a matte blush, contour shade, and shimmery highlighter) give you buildable, streak-free color that'll have you glowing from the inside out. Thanks to its Amazonian clay formula, that glow will last (and last).

* Rainforest Of The Sea Radiance Drops: It's as easy to apply as facial oil, but its payoff really ~shines~. Its non-greasy formula brightens your whole complexion with micro-glistening pearls and an antioxidant complex — did I mention you can totally apply it wherever/everywhere you'd like? It can do anything from infuse your foundation with shimmer, moisturize lips, highlight primer, whatever! You deserve to GLOW. Plus it's hypoallergenic so it won't break out even oily skin. In fact, coconut, jojoba oil, and vitamin E hydrate and nourish your complexion.

* Tarteist PRO Glow To Go Highlight Contour Palette: Get your glow like you get your PSL's: on the go. This portable highlight and contour palette is designed to work with every skin tone: all three shades boast rich, cool undertones to mimic actual shadow and light reflection (aka everyone will think you just naturally look that fantastic). It has two highlighting powders (hello, microshimmer strobes) and a universal matte contouring powder (and helloooo, cheekbones). AND it's long-lasting and fade-free.

I picked the Tarteist PRO Glow To Go Highlight Contour Palette, because I just found my three new best friends and their names are gleam, burst, and chisel. When we work together, I know we'll find my cheekbones somewhere.

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Btw, my three friends have a purpose: gleam is a pearl highlight, burst a shimmering sand highlight, and chisel a matte contour. Maybe next we'll make a band.

Promising review: "I love, love, love the Pro To Go series. I need travel makeup all the time. This contour shade actually works on my fair skin, which is amazing. The whole thing doubles as an eyeshadow kit. The contour makes a great crease shade, and with just swipe a highlight over it you're done. —Fran B

4. Now it's time for the ~highlight~ of everyone's day — literally! You've got your choice of four blushes, highlighters, and even a combination of the both in case you can't choose (because the clock is ticking, my friends).

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So let's figure out what these bad boys really are:

* Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush: If you rarely think about blush be prepared to be blown away — especially when you see that this has almost 3,275 positive reviews! Its powder formula lasts allllll day, courtesy of Amazonian clay. It feels super soft, because it's packed with mineral pigments that go on smooth and will make you do nothing but glow. AND it helps control oil and moisturizes your complexion. Color. Me. Impressed. Available in 13 shades.

* Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Highlighter: This lovely lady will keep you looking radiant for a whopping 12 hours no matter what the day brings you — if only everything could be powered by Amazonian clay. Its micro-pearlescent flecks gives off the appearance of natural light so every hour is golden hour, but the best part? Its specifically formulated to never cling onto dry patches, flake, or fade. Unreal (available in three shades).

* Limited-Edition Blush & Glow Blush & Highlighter: This little compact packs a big punch — its combo of highly pigmented powder plush and luminous highlighter makes bringing out those cheekbones faster and easier than ever. Don't worry, your "hard work" will pay off all darn day. AND it's oil-free and even moisturizing (available in two shades)!

* Twinkle Stick Highlighter: Lazy folk rejoice! This strobing sticks is chockfull of coconut, vitamin E, apple, and marine extracts to make highlighting as easy as just swiping some on with your fingertips — literally. Its formula is activated by your body heat so you can just swipe and blend with your fingers. Talk about ~payoff~ (available in two shades).

I chose the Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush so I'm rewarded the whole day for waking up in time to put on makeup. Considering it's pigmented enough to be done in a swipe, I'm confident I can handle its one-step requirements.

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AND I think we can all agree that we're intrigued by all these (nearly 3,275) positive reviews about how *soft* this blush is! I want to feel cuddled by my makeup!

Promising review: "These are the most long-lasting pigmented blushes I’ve ever tried! They’re very buildable which I love and they blend out like a dream!" —Megan

5. Now it's time for the lips: a selection of four creamy, bold lipsticks and glosses that'll all bring out your Bruno Mars and have you kiss yourself — you ARE that pretty!

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Shall we learn what each brings to the table?

* Color Splash Lipstick: This proves miracles can totally happen, and by that I mean it's a lipstick that actually hydrates your lips. Its vegan formula provides comfortable 12-hour wear that doubles as a buttery-smooth conditioner. It's all in the antioxidant-rich marine plant extracts (to smooth, soften, and plump), shea butter (to help retain elasticity and protect against dryness), and olive oil (to keep lips soothed and healthy). Feathering? Bleeding? We don't know her. Available in 22 shades.

* Tarteist Quick Dry Matte Lip Paint: Good luck to glasses when you wear this, because it puts a whole new meaning to transfer-proof. It's a liquid lipstick with a quick-dry matte finish that's concentrated with mineral pigments, and it has three missions: to never transfer, dry immediately, and prevent your lips from cracking or bleeding. And not only does it DELIVER, but it's even comfortable to wear. Amazing (available in 10 shades).

* Tarteist Holographic Lip Gloss: This vegan, iridescent, VERY shimmery gloss is here to tell you that mermaid are real — just look in the mirror! Its shade shifting pigments create a holographic effect by changing colors in different lighting, which is pretty effing magical. And its non-sticky, high-shine gloss actually *conditions* your lips for comfortable wear!

* Tarteist Creamy Matte Lip Paint: Like velvet? Have I got the lip paint for you. It's full-coverage, vegan, and velvety as all heck — not to mention its non-drying matte finish really ~tops~ it all off. That's not all: it's weightless, has a satisfyingly whipped texture, and will never settle into fine lines. Oh, and it can all be done in a single swipe. I mean....WOW. That is all (available in 10 shades).

I'm going with the Color Splash Lipstick, because I am ready for a winter where my lipstick actually moisturizes my parched lips. Is this witchcraft? I support it.

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Think of this as the fanciest, most colorful lip balm of your darn life! And don't forget about that TWELVE HOUR WEAR. I love you, Tarte.

Promising review: "I love how this feels after being applied. It moistures my lips nicely, which will be nice for the Minnesota winters. The shades that are available are great. I will certainly be buying more for the upcoming chilly holidays." —Tiffany G

6. Next, we pick something for our eyes. We've got a little bit of everything: shadows, eyeliner, lashes...does anyone know a coder so I can hack my way to getting all of these?!

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Let's figure out what these bb's do:

* Tarteist Metallic Shadow: These super rich, bold shades will make you feel like an absolute pro, even though you can totally apply these amazingly pigmented shadows with your finger. They're smooth, blendable as heck, and hate messy fallout just as much as you do. They're lid-locking, soothing, and basically bring the heat to winter thanks to their warm, metallic tones (available in seven shades).

* Sex Kitten Eyeliner: This cancels anyone's fear of messy eyeliner, thanks to its waterproof and smudge-proof vegan gel formula. It's thin enough to fill your lashline to make your lashes really pop — and if that sounds hard fret not. Its formulated with natural waxes and has a comfort-glide tip so it won't pull at your lids and makes application a breeze. Fading? Skipping? Delete these bad memories! AND it has a built-in smudger so you can easily create a smokey eye. Did I mention it'll last for 12 hours?

* Tarteist PRO Cruelty-Free Lashes: Keep your heart from *fluttering* too much, because these lashes do it all. Vegan, latex-free, and amazingly full and bold? BE STILL, MY HEART. Don't worry, they're super comfortable and gentle on even sensitive eyes! Btw, there's no glue needed. In case you weren't impressed enough, already (available in three styles).

* Tarteist Metallic Shadow: Inspired by the latest MUA trends, these super pigmented, metallic shades are about to make your eyes pop (and maybe widen with shock). Their mineral pigments deliver long-lasting boldness and are so satisfyingly creamy, you may spend your whole morning playing with them (available in 15 shades).

I picked the Sex Kitten Eyeliner so I can make a smokey eye without watching 15 hours of Youtube tutorials and saying several prayers first. Maybe I'll be on time for work now 🤔.

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Did I mention this is blacker than black? It has a triple-black pigment — kind of like what you would find if you opened my soul.

Promising review: "I love love this eyeliner! I have tried so many eyeliners over the years and I’ve finally found one that stays put, is smudge-proof and so easy to apply. I wear my liner on my inner lids and my eyes water more than I like, but this stays on. I love not having to reapply my liner several times during the day. I recommend this to everyone." —Kimberly O

7. Finally it's time for mascara and don't worry about choosing — they're all formulated with specific purposes in mind so it'll be clear which is about to be your soulmate. Further proof makeup is better than humans IMO.

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* Limited-Edition Maneater™ Voluptuous Mascara: This is here to make you believe in triple theats: it's volumizing, lengthening, AND curling. Plus, its soft-flex brush (with a whopping 500 flexible bristles) and triple-black formula that lifts from the root makes your lashes feel brand spanking new. Who is she?! That's YOU. Don't worry: no flaking is involved in this life-altering process.

* Lights, Camera, Lashes 4-in-1 Mascara: This is a cult favorite for a reason: its vegan formula lengthens, curls, volumizes, conditions, and really just wows the heck out of you. Its 360° lash works to curl and separate every individual lash for a *fluttering* effect. And dare I say it's good for you? At least when it comes to its rice bran, olive esters, and provitamin B5 formula that soften and nourish those precious lashes. If you want look-at-me lashes, but also feel able to claim that they're natural this is your gal.

* Gifted Amazonian Clay Smart Mascara: This top-rated winner is loaded with Amazonian clay to not only dramatically lengthen, but also treat and soften your lashes. It boosts thickness, lengthens, and conditions (hello, antioxidants) all without making your lashes feel heavy. If you ever need to come up with a "health plan" just do this. That's enough.

* Lights, Camera, Flashes Statement Mascara: If you like your mascara blacker than black, you've found The One. This gives you luxuriously long, thick, practically false-looking lashes in no time at all thanks to its secret weapon: its brush. Its brush has two looks in one: one side is shorter and denser to plump every lashes, while the other is longer to lengthen and define. Clumps are NOT welcome with this mascara, but thick AF lashes are.

I'm going to get Lights, Camera, Flashes Statement Mascara, because I like my lashes to be how I like my Real Housewives: extra dramatic. And a double-sided brush that literally does all the work for you? Bless.

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Promising review: "This is by far my favorite formula! I love the two-step concept, because it honestly works for my lashes (my lashes are neither short nor long they’re just normal and slightly curled but they are really thin). Step one spreads the product on my lashes to add volume and density, and step two builds up the volume, lengthens, and separates my lashes beautifully. I always add a second/third layer of step two to make my lashes look even bigger. I look like I’m wearing falsies!" —Maria S

And that's it! Now we wait to ride off into the sunset with our amazing new kits. This journey has been beautiful.

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Don't want to scroll back up? Understandable. Start making your own kit here for $63! That's 69% off the retail price!

VALUED AT $200! I can't stop screaming.

When someone goes, "don't you own enough makeup already?" UMMMM. NO. Thank you, next.

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The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.

Want even more beauty in your life? Obvs. Look no further:

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