13 Skymall Products You Never Knew You Needed

Too bad it's too late now.

1. How could you live without it? The Sippy Wine Glass!

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Skymall politely reminds us this product is best used while "standing and noshing" ... I think I would just fill it with juice, give it to a child, and wait for the everyones reaction.

2. And we clearly all need a Jumping Hot Dog.

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Kids will love it, drunk adults will love it more.

3. Have a pet? Make sure it never experiences nature again!

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With this completely normal looking jacket, you can be sure that the last bit of your dog's animal instinct and dignity will be gone forever.

4. The Human Slingshot.... because of course.

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A great Skymall product for daredevils and drunks.

5. These completely normal Skeleton Gnomes.

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Here's hoping this is meant to be a Halloween decoration.

6. One of a kind shirts, for one of a kind men.

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And for the cheap price of $130 you can have this excellent piece of clothing while simultaneously wondering what the hell you're doing with your life.

7. Have a pet? Here's another product that totally makes sense.

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If you like torturing your dog and watching him gnaw helplessly at plastic... well, here ya go.

8. The Pierogi Ornament

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You, like anyone, probably have Polish friends you never know what to get for Christmas. Problem solved! (Disclaimer: Not food. For decoration purposes only.)

9. Here's another fashion-forward option, Scented Shirts!

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These tees can be smelled up to 6 feet away! Also, get used to never standing closer than 6 feet to anyone ever again.

10. Um..... this?

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For the rageaholic chef in all of us. Incredibly inconvenient as a tenderizer, but on the other hand, quite convenient for knocking a bitch out.

11. The Ultimate Energy Saver.

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Blonde lady is not amused. Her energy bill did not change for the better, and she is now about to murder her husband in the attic because of his poor purchase. Don't end up like husband in the attic.

12. The Upright Sleeper!

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Made for travel, but more often used at the workplace.

13. And last but certainly not least, The Biggest Sports Chair Ever.

Skymall / Via Tumblr

At first I was sure this was a photoshop mishap, but after some research I have found that this is an actual product, just in case you needed a way to douche it up at the next sporting event you attend.

Thank you, Skymall, for always keeping it weird.