Like a number of Indian American girls, I love Mindy Kaling. At first glance, you might think "Oh right, because she's Indian, too!" Well, not exactly. I mean, sure, she is the first American of Indian descent in to star as the lead character in her own television show, 'The Mindy Project.'
But truth be told, I never grew up longing to see an Indian face on television or in magazines. I never sat down to watch 'The Facts of Life' and wondered why there wasn't an Indian girl on the show. I, like other daughters of Indian immigrants, was busy being a regular American kid, which is challenging enough on it's own.
After her Nationwide Insurance Super Bowl commercial where Mindy walks around thinking she is invisible after being treated as if she were invisible, many questioned if it symbolized the state of Indian women in America. I'm not sure how much of it rings true, but I do believe that since Mindy has emerged into the spotlight, we Indian American girls walk a little taller, and a little prouder. She reminds us of what makes us similar, and it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with us being Indian.
So far Mindy has given us three variations of herself. Two of them are fictional characters: Kelly Kapoor on 'The Office,' and Mindy Lahiri on the 'Mindy Project.' The third is herself as depicted in the non-fiction book 'Is Everyone hanging out without me? (and other concerns).' Based on these, I have found a few common traits that I have identified as reasons why so many Indian American women, like myself, get and appreciate Mindy.
1. We all believe that we are the center of our universe.
Growing up in a small American town, I knew I was different. I looked different, my name was different, even my lunch smelled different. But other than that, the world, or rather my world (which frankly, was the only world that mattered) revolved around me. That's one thing that Mindy's characters Kelly Kapoor and Mindy Lahiri have in common. We are ourselves and we don't apologize for it. We may care about how the world sees us, but at the end of the day we are the stars, not the supporting characters, of our lives.
2. We believe in true love.
Blame it on Hollywood or Bollywood. We love boy-meets-girl stories. We all believe that our prince is out there, and no matter if he's white, black or brown, or whether he's on a white horse or a massive elephant, we have faith that he exists and is en route to us so that he can sweep us off our feet. We are longing for the weak at the knees, butterflies in the stomach, melt your heart moments that we see in romantic comedies and read in Jane Austen novels. We ache for them. And when they happen, our belief in true love is vindicated! This is of course while our parents forbid us to talk to boys until we are 35, yet expect us to be married by 21.
3. Our parents expect us to become something.
Our immigrant parents came here to give us more opportunity. This usually involved education, and also the notion that we could become anything we wanted to be. ANYTHING. Gender and race was not a hinderance. At the age of 13 I seriously thought I could be the first woman in the NBA. I am not kidding. I was going to play for the Lakers. All five-foot-two of me. This is how delusional and awesome we were when we were growing up. And this is because we were raised by parents who let us fathom that everything was a possibility, in a country where anything is possible.
4. We are vain.
We can't pass a mirror without glancing at ourselves. Grooming and primping is a constant obsession, not to mention dealing with hair in places that it shouldn't be. (I'm looking at you, upper lip!) Whether we look good or not, we are consumed with our appearance. That's just how we are made.
5. We keep up with pop culture.
We know all of Brangelina's seven kids (yes there are seven now!) We know the names of all of JLo's husbands and boyfriends. We are great resources when it comes to useless information that has been spewed out of Entertainment Tonight and US weekly. Don't ask us to miss the Oscars or the Golden Globes. And we don't miss royal weddings. We had just moved into our new home, and I made my husband immediately go out and get a cable box the day before Prince William's wedding to Kate Middleton. We do not mess around!
6. The mall is our mothership.
On a weekend that's where you'll find us. Enough said.
7. We unabashedly like food and television.
We don't tend to have negative relationships with food. Second helpings (and third helpings) are our friends. And if we do it while watching Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movie marathon, even better!
8. We are all vulnerable girls on the inside, and strong women on the outside.
We can be soft and loving, but go into bitch mode when we need to. We are loyal to our friends and family, and have big hearts. We are contributing members of our communities. For all our selfishness, we are the ones to call when you need a ride to the airport, have a flat tire, or need a hug.
9. We are generally happy and optimistic.
When you see Mindy on her show she is usually smiling, if not laughing. We Indian American girls look for the good in our worlds, and we enjoy life. It makes us who we are. The world may question if we are invisible, but frankly, we don't care.
Now I could probably list just as many reasons of how we are not alike and how Mindy Kaling does not represent Indian American women. For me personally, that would be her love life and her taste in men. But for all intents and purposes, she is our cultural touchstone in the television landscape. We've never been in need of someone who looked like us on television, but now that she's here, it is nice to have her.
Like Mindy, many of us don't really perceive our culture or gender as a hinderance. If people don't like us, that's their problem, not ours. Because we're awesome just the way we are.
Mindy Kaling
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