1. Friends look at your phone like it's an ancient artifact...
3. Your friends always ask, "Well, why don't you just get a smartphone?"
4. Emojis are the death of your phone
And don't even start on group messages.
5. You have to carry around an iPod if you want to seem like you belong in the 21st century
6. Which means that Wi-Fi is a necessity, not a privilege
7. So when your boss asks, "Did you get my email?"
And that leads to the whole "Well why not?!" discussion all over again
8. The only apps on your phone are Tetris and Snake
9. That 160 character text limit