emilym18

I enjoy orange velvet furniture, Sharpies, correct use of dashes and hyphens, copy editing, watching legal dramas and crying "Objection!" when the lawyers on TV don't do it at the correct times, refuting and debunking things, pretending to be an FBI agent and sneaking around corners with my hands shaped like an imaginary gun and shouting "Clear!", gift wrapping, gift opening, the Sex Pistols, Marcel Duchamp, Mark Rothco, wondering what it would be like to kick a pigeon, Panda Puffs, kittycats, The Muppet Show, sexually harassing street musicians, constructing voicemail messages out of German language tapes, crazy straws, Mark Twain, voting for Ralph Nader, reinforcing Fresno's well-earned bad reputation, and vegan airline meals. I hate safety scissors, The Katie Brown Workshop, people who say "Antartica," humidors, people who protest fur but wear leather, all episodes of "House" in which he does not hit things/people with his cane, those newfangled can openers that unglue the whole lid instead of just sawing it open, bands from Brooklyn, clinical psychologists, Marianne's Ice Cream, teamwork, bread and butter pickles, aggressive hippies, mandatory fun, eBay, digital television, cute music, and much, much more.

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