1. You put your health at risk to have the most enjoyable meal of your life.
Three weeks later and I still haven't said "when" to the Olive Garden waiter to stop grating cheese.
2. You've called the restaurant more than you call most of your family members.
Is it bad that I memorize Olive Garden's number?
3. You've already planned out your funeral and Olive Garden is a part of it.
when I die bury me at olive garden lay me down in a bed of breadsticks
4. You find daily tasks more difficult to complete when Olive Garden is on your mind.
Just tried to turn down the volume of the rain on my car radio so I could ask Siri where is the nearest Olive Garden. #StormWatch
5. You've accepted the fact that you have to be rolled out to the car after dinner.
If you've finished your meal at Olive Garden and you're still conscious, you didn't order enough breadsticks.
6. You use Olive Garden as the solution to all your personal problems.
Hearing 16 year old guys give sound advice like, "Bruh, take your chick to Olive Garden. Girls love breadsticks." I mean, he's not wrong...
7. You actually consider the idea of loving and caring for a breadstick for an uncomfortable period of time.
.@olivegarden because you're a chain restaurant and breadsticks cannot stroke your cheek as you drift off to sleep
8. You use their commercial as a scale to measure your feelings.
I'm happy but I'm not Olive Garden commercial happy.
9. You're serious about the Olive Garden slogan.
If when I'm at Olive Garden I'm family the next time I go there I'm going to not pay my bill and I'm gonna ask to borrow $1,400.
10. You feel 100% comfortable letting loose in the presence of fake grapes.
Got kicked out of Olive Garden for getting my salad tossed under the table
11. You become sexually-charged after entering into the lobby of an Olive Garden.
Once, just once, I'd like to walk into an Olive Garden without someone yelling "Oh God He's Got An Erection"
12. You have no problem dining there by yourself, even during the most romantic holidays.
I'm bringing my Xbox to Olive Garden for Valentine's Day. Referring to it as baby girl and caressing the controller as a pretend-hand.
13. You're on the lookout for a potential lover at Olive Garden.
Lady, you accidentally made eye contact with me, so don’t act surprised when I unzip my pants. This must be your first time at Olive Garden.
14. You've established a love-hate relationship with it and find yourself spending more and more time discussing it.
Another long night of leaving comments on the Olive Garden Facebook page, stirring up trouble just to feel alive again
15. You have no trouble asking members of the staff for help or favors.
My Olive Garden waitress refused to spit my pasta into my mouth. When you're there, you're family. Just not a bird family.
16. You've thought about Jesus and Olive Garden together at least once.
what if the last supper was actually judas feeding cheese sticks to jesus through a glory hole in an olive garden restroom
17. Maybe twice.
I like to picture Jesus as a young but promising Sous chef at Olive Garden whose Moroccan-inspired linguine has won him critical acclaim.
18. You feel incredibly optimistic about your love life after you think about Olive Garden.
I have a 25 dollar gift card to Red Lobster OR Olive Garden left over from Christmas. Ladies, this is the year. Be ready.
19. You accept the fact that this fine establishment rules your life choices.
I'd get Olive Garden bread tattooed on my arm but I'd probably end up eating it tbh.
20. You figured out the secret to healthy eating is, in fact, Olive Garden.
Olive Garden is the only place where I get excited to eat salad.
21. Finally, you get married at Olive Garden.
Like, they really got married at Olive Garden.