Things That You Should Know Before Going To Chipotle

As told by a very humble burrito roller

Be prepared to answer a LOT of questions

Creating the perfect burrito takes time and love. (and your guidance)

First off, it's pronounced chip-oat-lay

I hear chipotal, chipply, chioatal, and other very creative names on a daily basis. I clap for your creativity, but please- it is named chipotle, and pronounce it as such.

We can accommodate gluten allergies

We will gladly change our gloves and offer corn tortilla tacos for our guests, gluten or not.

Be aware, though, that the cheese and lettuce may be contaminated because we use our gloved hands to put it in the bowls/burritos/tacos.

GOLDEN RULE: DON'T REACH OVER THE GLASS

Please please please please don't do it. You can point at it from the other side of the glass, or better yet: TALK TO US.

It is so awkward to ask you to not reach over, because it adds a sense of chastisement to what should be a fun and enjoyable experience- not reaching over saves everyone from an awkward situation.

That's pronounced barb-a-coe-a

Yes, it may be tempting to order the barracuda or barbecue, but that right there sir is barbacoa and it is a delicious serving of shredded beef.

...And that's sofe-rit-as

I'm sorry, you cannot eat a sofa. I mean, I guess you could, but not at chipotle. And BTW: sofritas are organic tofu braised in an adobo seasoning. Don't turn your nose up to it- you can request to try it, and you won't regret it.

We offer two beefs: steak and barbacoa

We aren't trying to make your life harder by asking you more questions, we just want to make sure you get what you want.

We don't serve ground beef

You may mistake the sofritas for ground beef; but alas, we do not serve ground beef. We believe in food with integrity, and we do not served anything processed or with any additives; instead, try the barbacoa. You have been blind, my friend, and you shall see the light

BOTH RICES ARE CILANTRO LIME

customer: "can I have the cilantro lime rice?"

employee: "both rices are cilantro lime, we offer brown or white rice"

customer: *takes 5 years to decide which rice they want*

Yes, the black beans are indeed the ones that are black

A small part of me dies every time I get asked "which ones are the black?"

We have FOUR different salsas for your enjoyment

Mild, medium, hot, and corn salsa.

It is MILD salsa.

Not "the tomatoes", "the salsa", or "pico" (authentic pico has garlic in it- ours has no garlic).

That white stuff is sour cream.

As awesome as it sounds, it is not marshmallow fluff, vanilla pudding, or queso

Speaking of queso, I'm sorry- we do not serve queso.

Queso is melted cheese with additives that allows it to keep it's consistency for a long period of time, whether heated or not. That does NOT fall under our Chipotle food-with-integrity beliefs.

Vegetarian burritos get FREE guac

For everyone else, it's $2.05 extra.

We at Chipotle WANT you to have an amazing experience

Please help us to do this for you by not speaking on your phone, talking to your friends while we are trying to finish your food, or by being rude to us- it is much more efficient to speak one-on-one to each other, and it ensures good customer-employee interaction.

I do not want to sound needy by suggesting this, but it really does help make the process as smooth as possible- especially when there is a line out the door.