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1. "Don't play with fireworks, kids."
2. "It's $20 a dance, and no touching!"
3. "Edward? No? Never mind."
4. "No! You get out! Get away! Get away!"
5. "No way, that's somebody else's hand on your leg."
6. "If you're a Taurus I can't talk to you right now."
7. "Your late fines are eighty-one cents."
8. "...those damn kids"
9. Meth: Not even once.
10. "Hello, young sparrow! Salutations!"
11. "Another appendectomy? Just once I'd like a collapsed lung or a severed hand to spice things up."
12. "Do you like my bangs?"
13. "Seven cats and counting."
14. "Anyone wanna go to Cinnabon in third period?"
15. (Ron Swanson's dad...?)
16. "Burlesque isn't stripping, it's the purest form of performance art."
17. "Rules on workplace relationships be damned, I must have you."
18. "The tarot cards never lie... unless I'm reading them upside down again."
19. "Will you shut up, Margaret? Nobody cares about your cruise."
20. "Halloween is for sinners."
21. "I've got a mole that looks like Lisa Simpson, wanna see?"
22. "My turtle's name is Walter."
23. "Hey! It's just a cold sore!"
24. "It's Kleopatra with a K."
25. "You don't want to know what's in the cotton candy."
26. "I love her like a cousin."
27. "I've been watching you."
28. "I wish Courtney Love was my mom."
29. "Housekeeping..? Housekeeping..?"
30. "Welcome to Atlantic City."
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