The 17 Funniest NYE Resolutions On Twitter

Let's be honest, there's a 99.99% chance you'll give up on your New Year's resolution. And that's okay, just start setting ridiculous ones like the below instead.

1.

Lull them into a false sense of security before you show them how weird you really are.

2.

At least you've still got your dog in case this resolution doesn't work out.

3.

That's the spirit, set achievable goals!

4.

Love your dog? Great! Practically stalk your dog? Too far.

5.

This woman can now be found on a private island in the Bahamas adorned in diamonds.

6.

Your resolution for the previous year probably should've been not to do it in the first place.

7.

I'm still in the cry tryin stage.

8.

Mr Whiskers is NOT a legitimate choice of partner.

9.

Especially if it has strawberry icing, that's at least one of your 5 a day.

10.

Stop drinking...stop kissing strangers...stop falling asleep with your face in a kebab...the options are endless.

11.

Stay strong, Eli.

12.

Mine is to say "oh snap" as much as possible.

13.

I mean, you more than likely will regret that.

14.

Who even needs to socialise anymore when you can just Netflix and chill with yourself?

15.

Step 1: Watch Mean Girls and note down tips.

16.

An interesting take on a New Year's resolution classic.

17.

Because deep down, we all hope that some day we can love something or someone as much as Kanye loves Kanye.