back to top
Shopping

17 Things For People Who Absolutely, Positively Hate Wearing Pants

Socially acceptable ways to free yourself from those leg prisons.

Posted on

1. This mermaid tail blanket to wear if your roommates or loved ones take issue with you sitting pants-less on the furniture.

amazon.com

Mermaids don't wear pants and they're great. Tell them that next time while wearing this.

Promising review: "I was able to help my cousin fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming Ariel from The Little Mermaid. He said the mermaid tail blanket couldn't have been more life-like and that the purple really brought out his eyes. 10/10 would buy again. Will buy again. Will be the only linens in my house." --Tammy Head

Get it from Amazon for $11.98+ (available in three sizes, several colors).

2. A thin kimono robe so you can get your Buffalo Bill on -- minus the illegal stuff -- without sweating your ass off.

3. A breezy kilt for enjoying the finer things in life, like the Scottish highlands or a warm gust.

amazon.com

Promising review: "Looks very authentic, feels very comfy, and fits perfectly as suggested. I had a great time wearing it in the Scottish highlands. Can't beat the price! Great buy!" --shing

Get it from Amazon for $27.99+ (available in sizes 30-54).

5. A sleeveless shirtdress so cute you'll start a Change.org petition to ban those normie shirts that hit at the waist.

amazon.com, amazon.com

Wake up, sheeple!

Promising review: "Great dress. Lightweight. I am 5'7", weigh 145 lbs., and got a Large -- it fits great. My arms are flabby and often things are too tight around them. But this is perfect, loose enough to not squeeze under my armpits, but also not so long, loose that my bra shows. The material is thin, so it's great for Phoenix summer weather. It is slightly shorter than I was wanting. It lands several inches above the knee, but still fine for work." --Addicted2Amazon

Get it from Amazon for $11.86+ (available in sizes XS-XL, seven patterns).

6. Some anti-chafe balm because refusing to wear pants actually takes quite a toll on your inner thighs...but the friction is manageable with this stuff.

amazon.com

Promising review: "I wear dresses nearly everyday in the warmer months and this is a must have to keep my legs from chafing. It is not sticky, in fact, you can barely even feel it is there! I bought the 1.5 oz stick and that will last me about 3-4 months with daily application." --Team Townsend

Get it from Amazon for $8+ (available in three sizes).

8. A strapless romper in a bunch of pretty patterns that'll make folks say, "What pants?!"

amazon.com, amazon.com

Promising review: "I'm typically a size small, but I ordered a medium because rompers tend to be a little...crotchy. I'm glad I did. It's not too snug and fits just right. Very comfortable. The fabric is light, yet good quality. The colors are vibrant and it's very flirty and cute. I also ordered the leaf print and waiting on that one." --jdavis

Get it from Amazon for $4.99+ (available in sizes S-XL, seven patterns).

Check out some of our favorite rompers on Amazon here.

9. And a modest maxi ~with pockets~ bc versatility is a good thing.

amazon.com

Promising review: "I'm 5'1", 36DDD, and very curvy. I ordered XL and love that it hits the floor. I wear heels daily and it's perfect for me. The dress is as described. The fabric is heavier than I expected and meets good standards for the price. I have two pockets and that's a winner." --Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon for $22.99 (available in sizes XS-2XL, nine colors).

10. Some top-rated self-tanner for a dose of color.

amazon.com, amazon.com

Promising review: "Oh my, this is the best self-tanner I've ever used. I was spending money on spray tans before. I can't even believe that. My only regret is not buying this sooner. This takes a few hours to really show up, but you can also expect immediate results. I didn't see any streaking whatsoever. It is best to exfoliate well before using." --Amanda Rose

Get it from Amazon for $13.48+.

Check out the best self-tanners on Amazon here.

13. A high-low dress so airy it might be the closest (legal) thing to living your life as a nudist anywhere you damn please.

amazon.com, amazon.com

Promising review: "I love these dresses! I ordered three in different colors. I'm a size 8-10 and the medium fit perfecty! A large would have been too big. They are very comfortable. The colored ones (pink, blue) are a bit see-through, but nothing a small slip can't fix." --Kim Wexler

Get it from Amazon for $19.99 (available in sizes S-2XL, 11 colors).

15. Some lacy shorts with an inseam that won't ride up while you're wrangling roosters for the perfect photo op.

amazon.com

Promising review: "These are a great pair of shorts with a perfect balance of cute and casual. I purchased a medium for athletic curves (5'4", 135 lbs.). The waistband initially seemed small, but stretched to fit. They don't really ride up in front, which is awesome. The quality seems pretty great, but probably prone to snagging if you aren't careful. Chick-approved." --Amazon Customer

Get them from Amazon for $10.95+ (available in sizes S-3XL, various colors).

Check out our picks for comfy shorts here.

16. Knee-high socks to keep your chilly knees from a-knockin'.

amazon.com

Promising review: "I purchased these socks for a friend of mine who is a bartender and waitress. She used to go through socks quickly and her feet smelled due to the poor quality and the high percentage of synthetic materials. Since giving her three pairs a couple months ago, her feet don't smell and her socks are holding up much better! I have made a second purchase recently and she's a lot more tolerable after her shifts!" --Squid

Get a two-pack from Amazon for $10.99.

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss