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1. A serving of sushi erasers you can put on your Insta stories instead of your sad desk lunch of stale PB&J.
2. A lil' tape dispenser who looks like he wants to hear all the juicy gossip your work bae just ran over to tell.
3. A handsome llama duster that'll make tidying your office feel like less of a boredom-killing chore.
4. A set of Super Mario Bros. magnets so you can act like you're trying to get every coin ever when you're "searching for that form" in your filing cabinet.
5. A daily calendar packed with awkward gems might just give you something to laugh about instead of cry with boredom.
6. A reversible sequin notebook to match the pillow case you stroke on your couch at night while you catch up on your stories to distract from how much this job bores you.
7. An adorable monitor memo board you won't mind gently nudging you to get back to your work.
8. A neon reminder of how you're working this hard so you can go on that 'gram-worthy road trip out west.
9. A Wonder Woman letter opener that'll easily stay hidden in your dress the next time you have to go to a party prepared.
10. A folding mirror to see if you have any food stuck in your teeth before your afternoon meeting.
11. Hardy pens and holders that'll last longer than Janice from marketing's damn succulents she brings up in every meeting.
12. A lucky highlighter that'll make reading over a dry AF document feel a bit brighter.
13. A document stamp to express your true feelings about that memo on a secret sheet of paper you keep tucked in the back of your filing cabinet.
14. A prickly organizer to help you find the right color for your bullet journal you've been able to really put a lot of time into so far in 2018.
15. A heat-changing mug with some bite, in case you're feeling all snarly first thing in the morn.
16. A stabby pen holder because apparently hanging onto your writing tools will sometimes be a deadly job.
17. A Luke Cage–style swear jar to help you cushion your coffee fund for times when even the stuff on your desk can't kill your boredom.
18. A lava timer for helping the minutes drip by.
19. A set of bloody arrow bookends to keep those tomes you never actually refer to at stance just in case you need to crack them open. Ever.
20. A crocheted F bomb you can throw in frustrating times for some SFW relief.
21. A cute planter with a couple of gardeners to lend a hand in caring for the only living thing (besides you) at your dead-end job.
22. A USB hub that'll only *look* sinister.
23. A smartphone magnifier in case you're tired of watching YouTube clips on your computer screen.
24. A quartet of writing *tools* to help you better mimic gouging your eye out after sitting through a particularly excruciating meeting that should've been an email.
25. A Nic Cage mousepad so you can have an excuse to bring up how Moonstruck is the best movie ever and you don't trust any humans who don't adore it.
26. A putting set that'll help you work on your skills in case you finally get invited to a round of golf with the CEO.
27. A glittery picture frame to make your fav doggo look even cuter, as if you'd even entertain the possibility!
28. A litter of memo stickies for playing around with right meow.
29. A magnetic sand hourglass as a classic way to pass the time with a ~twist~.
30. A Gudetama sippy cup that'll remind you to get up and go to the water cooler every once in a while.
Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.